Dear Roger: Pride, In The Name Of Love

I am ridiculously proud of my eldest son and youngest daughter. With all the hoorah over the whole chicken restaurant stupidity, we have had quite a few conversations about faith, compassion, humanity and walking your talk lately. In face we have had quite a few conversations about many deep subjects lately, including bio-ethics, the state of mental health care in this country, and the criminal justice system.
My son is very attuned to things that are going on around him, which to me is surprising considering he is a teenager, a guy and he likes to play his guitar and his video games a bit more than I think practical, but yesterday he really surprised me. He came home from spending the day working with the maintenance crew, following them around learning how to do all kinds of things that he had always wanted to learn how to do, and that are practical skills for someone to have, like light installation, sink installation, lock installation and just general home fixer up stuff. He went in, took a shower and then tells me that for the first time in weeks he is going to church.
I was a bit shocked because he had quit going in disgust over some of the things he was hearing and just some of the doctrine he didn't agree with so I asked him why he was going. He told me, "I think that someone needs to go there and tell them that they are ignoring the real message of Christ. What they are doing and saying is disgusting and I think they need to know that and maybe I can educate some of them about how wrong and hypocritical they are being."
That is exactly what he did. He went to his youth group meeting and he lead a discussion about how the church has lost the true meaning of Jesus's message and that they are losing people because they have lost themselves. My little girl did the same. She was a little less diplomatic, and I have a feeling words like,"Stupid heads" were probably used, but both my kids vented their disgust at the behavior of the so-called Christians who were using fast food as a way to show their hate of a group of people that they are supposed to love if they are truly following the message of the bible,(this is according to my son), I really don't know, I have decided I am Buddhist. My son said he figured as much, but that I have to get the whole desire to stomp a mud hole in wrong-doers asses under control, but that it actually seems to fit me and my philosophy the best.
I asked him if he was going to change churches now that he had seen plain and clear that they seem to really endorse hate and he said,'No, it is my job as a good Christian to change them. Jesus called upon us to help the sinners and that is what I am going to do, I am going to help those sinners, I am going to continue to tell them how wrong they are and Ill be there to quote them the scriptures that they are forgetting when they go talking hate."
He is 16. He was an abused child who has pretty much lived in poverty his entire life. I am not religious at all. I simply taught him that compassion, kindness, love and hope are the things we all need to get through this life because material things don't matter and what people will remember are the deeds you did in your life. He has had to grow up fast, in fact hes working and trying hard to contribute to the family in any way possible, and he has stepped into the father role with his siblings even though he didn't want to, but he has tried hard to be a good example to them.
My little girl came home and was angry that some of her friends were bragging about eating at that place and,"Showing the homosexuals they were bad." She was telling me she told them that people should be free to love who they want as long as they are adults and that hate is wrong. She went on an unfriending spree and told me that if they continued to be,"Ugly" she was going to be Buddhist like me because she just couldn't be part of any faith that had hate in it. She was really upset and distressed over it and concerned because she truly does not understand why there is hate over such things, she has read the Bible and has taken to heart the passage that said,"Love thy neighbor as you love thyself." Mean people also distress her, she cringes down and runs to hide when people get loud or she senses too much tension in the room, its a throwback to the days when there was constant horror in the house, and she wont watch the news when there is yelling and fighting on it, so what had been a sanctuary for her,(church), has become a source of stress because she has been hearing messages of hate about people she knows and loves.
My kids make me proud, all of them. Sticky and Stubby have stayed out of this whole argument other than to say that they didn't know what the fuss was about since we hadn't eaten there in over two years, but they didn't mind if we never ate there again because my chicken was much better anyway.