Dear Roger:Someone Who Gets Your Weird

Things are sort of back to normal,(at least our kind of normal), I lost my shit, had a good soul cleansing, heart ripped apart, cry and then he dragged me out for Zombie Marathon training and I poured all that angst and pain into one helluva run time. I mean, seriously, I kicked ass, but he figured out I was hurting and he didn't like the fact I was fueling my workout with pain, so he made me talk it out and we found our rhythm again. Yeah, it will never be what I wish I had, he still likes cock and I still don't have one, but he is still my best friend I love with all my pathetic excuse of a heart and he gets I'm pretty messed up and unsure of what to make of myself and my life.
I'm not a lesbian, because for sure I don't like chicks at all. Most of the time I don't even like being around women because they annoy me. I'm not girly and have no girly skills and I just end up weirded out and confused when too many of them are around me. I like guys, but I like guys who know their place and who are submissive and just kind of know when to shut up and do what they are told. I also like them quirky and a bit weird, so it makes it pretty much impossible to find what I am looking for because they tend to be with other quirky, weird guys. I prefer the company of my boy. He is funny and articulate and he listens to me and hes just a damn good, decent human being that I would fight the demons of hell for, because hes proven to me that hes just worth it,(even though he is currently laying here snoring like a sawmill going through petrified wood)hes not got a bad bone in his body.
My kids love him and call him their,"Stepdad", my ex refers to him as my,"Gay accountant husband" and my eldest son may occasionally bitch and complain about having to share my attention with him, but he is also very protective of him and considers him a member of the family.
I love this young, special man that has wandered into my life, and while its not a perfect or storybook love that so many of my friends seem to have, its a love that while fraught with trial and error, and often pain and learning, its a love that comes from the heart and grows as its cultivated by all of us in our home. As long as I have it, I will value it, treasure it and help him to become the man I know he will be, and watch him move into the world as he needs to, either with me or without, but assuredly with love all around.
We are training in earnest for the Seattle Zombie Run that takes place August 24th and while that has been fun, it has also been exhausting. We started off just power walking for endurance and once we got up to 5 miles a night, we figured it was time to move to the cross-country aspect of it. I got him an Iphone and we added the Zombies,Run app and there began the real insanity. You really have to pick your playlists carefully because I found that some of my favorite musicians are long winded s,o,b,'s and it been had to coordinate run times.We found a park that has really steep trails and off road terrain that is great for the obstacle course aspect of the marathon and we have been utilizing it as best we can, (without killing ourselves), on a daily basis.
I am seeing a huge difference in him and myself and I thinks its a great plan for the both of us,