So I went to another concert last night at the Doug Fir. Never mind it was a school night, or that it was colder than penguin balls outside. I had bought the ticket over a month ago and I decided I might oughta go because I had told a couple of friends of mine I was going and I thought I deserved a night out. I did not expect it to drop to sub-arctic before hand, but hey? who the hell needs to feel their feet at a rock concert,right?
I wore my 20x Wranglers and a heavy coat, my hat, some gloves and I thought I was bundled up enough, but then we ended up spending a half-hour standing out by Pioneer square watching the temperature gauge on the Chase bank register lower and lower, while we waited for the next bus to come and get our frozen asses to take us on up to the Doug Fir,(have I mentioned that when my ears and nose get cold, my happy thoughts and general pleasant demeanor tend to leave the country?), well anyway, we get there and I had pretty much already decided that if they were gonna try and make us stand outside in the cold, somebody was gonna get told a thing or two. Lucky for us and them they were letting folks in where it was marginally warmer. But one thing they did before they let us in was stamp our wrists...WITH A MONKEY STAMP. The exact same monkey stamp they used at the 100 Monkeys concert. Fuck my life.
Daughter is not a stupid child. She is aware that her favorite person in the whole world,(and yes, as I am writing this, HE her favorite person)is going to be in this neck of the woods in the next little bit. She assumes that they will of course be doing concerts in this area. She looked up Vancouver BC on a map when I tired to explain that he was still quite a distance away,"Its closer than Texas and Arizona, so I am not seeing the problem?" She wants that I should just drop everything and take her, yesterday. So we have had our issues with making why that is not going to happen, understood.
So last night, she knew I was going to a concert. I had told her the name of the guy before, but she had never heard of him so she didnt retain it. She just knew she was staying home with her brother and that I was going to the Doug Fir,(she was already suspicious), and I would be in late.
I may have indulged a bit in a few too many whiskey sours. I meant to scrub that damn monkey stamp off my arm before I got home and fell asleep, but see...the thing is, my fella...Jack, met me at the bar after the show, and being a good Southie fella from Boston, he elevates drinking to a whole nuther level.We hung out at the bar and apparently, well, I got a bit snockered.
I got home around 1ish, still drunkish and I fell asleep in most of my clothes.I had ditched my coat and sweater at the front door along with one boot and my hat. But when I ditched the coat? I left my shirt sleeve pushed up and what did I awaken to this morning? "I KNEW IT!! YOU SAW HIM!! YOU LIIIIIIIEEDDD" Now I am still a little buzzed at this point, queasy and wondering just what the hell I am being accused of by my small daughter? Why does she sound like she is accusing me of stealing her man or something? Then I see it...that damn monkey stamp! Its as much a sign of guilt in her eyes as lipstick on a collar and she is MAD! Why they had to use the EXACT same stamp they used for the 100 Monkeys show I think was just God screwing with me pretty damn hard.
I start trying to explain, "Noo baby, I didnt see them! I saw some British guy" she is snot sobbing at this point and looking at me like I killed her puppy. "I dont believe you! You just wanted to go without me! Chance said so!" (deciding at this point that her brothers guitar is getting taken hostage),my head is pounding and I am trying not to barf on her and she is getting louder. She gives me the puppy dog eyes. The look that I wish I could bottle up and send to THEM, the look that tends to make anyone with a soul and a heart, squirm in real or imagined guilt for putting it there. "Please mommy, PLEASE promise me you didnt go without me? You wouldn't do that to me would you? I love them soo much, it would break my heart if I didnt get to go! Its all I want for my birthday!(oh and that is a damn dirty lie if I ever heard one), but I groaned in pain,(very real at this point), and dragged my whiskey addled ass out of bed and I wandered into the kitchen looking for my ticket stub, which by some small grace of GOD I had stuffed into my pocket. I handed it to her and she looked at it. "Who is Bobby Long and Guest?" Well daughter, I said, hes no Jackson Rathbone and 100 Monkeys, so will you forgive me?
She looked at me,"Promise me." At this point I was ready to promise to deliver the men themselves if she would only let me go lay back down. "Promise me you wont go without me to see them." So then stupid me has to negotiate with her,"But what if its an adults only show?" She wrinkled up her nose and looked a bit disgusted, "Why would they do that?" Ahh...to be 6 again.
She still is looking at me like she doesnt really believe me, and I know I heard her humming,"Keep Awake" when I went to lay back down, so I decided it was just a wee bit more prudent to do just that, keep awake and write than to risk sleeping off the rest of my misbehavior at least until she calms down and stops sounding like someones wife I have done wrong.
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