Dear Roger: Everybody Needs One

I have spent most of my life without something most people take for granted, large in part to my stand-offish nature, my inability to trust people deeply enough, and just the complications of my life not allowing it, but I have discovered over the last few months that I finally have something I have long needed; a best friend.
He didn't start out that way, in fact I had a horrible crush on him, but having a horrible crush on a gay man is like shopping in a high end store with no money, its fruitless,(snort!) and gets you nothing but frustrated and maybe arrested when you finally snap and start grabbing the goods. The feelings have changed though and I don't know how to explain how or why, but maybe its because they have grown and matured? Dont get me wrong, I love him with all my heart and I enjoy spending time with him more than anyone else, but I have no expectations and there is no pressure or stress anymore. Its fun because often we check out the same guys.
Hes funny and kind and compassionate, but he also brings a good dose of reality and practicality to my life. He's the Yin to my Yang, the mellow to my harsh, and when I am having a day full of stress and pressure, he just seems to know the right words to make me laugh and relax.
He reminds me very much of you and sometimes that makes my heart ache a lot, but then I am soo damn grateful he is in my life because my kids love him. Stubby and Monkey girl have told him many times that he would be a fantastic daddy and while he shudders in horror when they say that, he has stepped into that role for them and they have pulled him into our little family kicking and screaming and made him part of us. When he is late for dinner we worry and all of our talk of future plans include him.
I am very protective of him, just like I am of any of my family, and I have a hard time not flying to his defense when I feel he is being wronged or taken advantage of, but like he has told me, I am the master of passive aggressive, so those who wrong him will eventually feel it.
He listens to me when I rant and when I talk about mistakes I have made and he doesn't judge, he may tease me gently and he may even point out things that show my age and call me "Mrs. Robinson", but its never mean like some try to be, his humor is actually witty and leaves me laughing. I have done soo many fun things with him I thought I would never do, like going to a Burlesque show,(twice now!), going to and singing Karaoke, going to the opening of an art exhibit downtown at night, going to Comicon, doing the Aids Walk, and applying for a much better job and moving to the neighborhood I always wanted to move to in Portland and finally applying for and getting the loan for a car. Yeah...if not for him, I wouldn't have been able to do that stuff because every step of the way, when I doubted myself or there was some roadblock in my way, my best friend was right there beside me to help me move it out of my way and to keep me moving forward.