About Me

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Portland, Oregon, United States
Middle aged crazy, a little on the broken side,been to hell and back and still make side trips into Purgatory to indulge the masochistic side of my personality. I'm Texan,Southern,Over-educated,arrogant, temperamental,oversexed but under-indulged.Chasing after younger men and the happiness that has eluded me for most of my life.Music and literature are my passions.Finally living the dream in my idea of Heaven.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Dear Roger:Im Too Damn Grumpy To Be Playing "Wheres Waldo" With Monkeys

Remember how I have talked about my eye twitch that tends to get a little accelerated when I am aggravated or ready to start dispensing with swift kicks to the backsides to those most in need of them? Well, I am flat amazed that my eye is still in my skull.
Maybe it is the Texan part of me, or maybe it is the years spent in the militaristic world of law enforcement, or maybe it is just because I am one to those obsessive/compulsive people who believes in having their shit wired tight and dialed in, but when something is out of order, FUBAR, fucked up, not where its supposed to be, pissing people off, and just generally half assed, and people ignore it, it makes me a bit nuts. Factor in a child that has been looking forward to something and blames ME for it being that way, when it is in no freaking way,my damn fault, then you can see why my eye has gone off the deep end.

Supposedly, on June 28th, her favorite bands album was finally released. She was soo damn excited. She stayed up late watching their concert and little party they had to celebrate the fact, and she was looking forward to going to the store that they swore and be damned was the authorized carrier of said album. I told her that because money was tight, we were going to have to wait until the 1st of the month, but that I would go and make sure it was in the store and then we would go together and get it.

I went to said store and looked, expecting with all the hooorah for there to be a display or something, but there was nothing. I hunted down a clerk while my friend hunted through the racks thinking that surely we had just missed it. The clerk looked at me like I was mental," Hungry Monkeys? Hundred Monkey?" NOO! I showed her the wrist band I wore that day. 'Ohh!" again with the look. She looked it up on the computer and it popped up,"No, we aren't carrying it, in fact its not available in Portland or in fact, Oregon. But we can order it off the web for you." She advised us to check back in a day or two and talk to the company that stocks the music just to be sure, but the system said that it wasn't happening. We checked back. We talked to the music dept people, I talked to the store manager. Its not getting stocked in Gresham. I was bummed, and then I wondered, did the band people know? I tweeted, I emailed, I did everything but flash my ass at the computer screen to try and get somebodies attention, but nada...I was lost in the sea to teeny bopper boobie shots. I just wanted to find out where I could buy their damn record with my daughter, in person, and nobody could take 5 minutes to tell me where the hell it actually was. Its kinda annoying. If it was anybody but them, I would have made a crude gesture and promptly begun pushing Flogging Molly at her like it was the best candy to be found, but she genuinely loves them and honestly I forgive a lot of foolishness because of it.

Soo, trying not to be me. I emailed their record label and got yet another youngster who told me that it was being carried by the big boxes or we could wait until August and get it then. Oh yeah...thats happening. I wanted to tell her to come and tell my daughter that she was going to have to wait until August to get it and see how well that went over. I called around to the places the record label people gave me, I even called Arizona! I was willing to enlist the ex and allow him to be a hero and send it to her as a 'Gift" that I would have bought, but its not in Flagstaff ,AZ either. Its not to be found in East Texas where I have kin and friends in Maryland cant find it.
I knew it was available as a fecking digital download off ITunes, but you know what? I took her to her first rock concert, It was them and I was determined to take her to buy her first record together. Its a bonding thing. I kept calling around and it dawned on me, "Where best to find a funky little indie band than a Indie record shop?!" I called Music Millennium and sure enough they had 3 copies! They knew who the hell I was talking about! I didn't feel judged or like I was trying to buy weird porn. The price wasn't much above what I was expecting, they were willing to hold the copies for me and they were nice. Soo, finally! Thanks to my diligent detective efforts to find what feels like the worlds best kept secret, I will take my baby girl to a funky, cool music store tomorrow and I will hand her the money, and she will buy her very first cd by the first band she ever loved. I hope will look back on it someday and remember it with fondness. I, however plan to stick a Waldo sticker on the back of the damn thing. I have never worked that hard for any band or any boys. The 100 Monkeys are making a lot of changes lately. Some I am a bit...meh? over, others I just kinda sit back and say, "Well...its growing pains." I have heard the new record and it sounds pretty damn good for the most part. There are a couple of things I could do without , but its not my place to say.

Daughter is starting to branch out in her interests, and that is good to see. She loves Harry Potter and is absolutely enamored with Daniel Radcliffe. That is really cute to see. She watched the Tony awards with me and was up singing and dancing along with him, and she recently asked for a Harry Potter poster for her room. She reads Harry Potter to her monkey,"Jackson", out loud every night and asks all kinds of questions about it that show a deep understanding of the story, so I encourage her to keep on keeping on.
I wont let on to her how much of a pain in the ass it was to find the cd. I have just let her be mad at me, thinking that it was my fault she didn't have it yet. But tomorrow we will have a fun field trip and she will be happy, and for a brief bit I will be her hero. Thats good enough for me.

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