About Me

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Portland, Oregon, United States
Middle aged crazy, a little on the broken side,been to hell and back and still make side trips into Purgatory to indulge the masochistic side of my personality. I'm Texan,Southern,Over-educated,arrogant, temperamental,oversexed but under-indulged.Chasing after younger men and the happiness that has eluded me for most of my life.Music and literature are my passions.Finally living the dream in my idea of Heaven.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dear Roger: Getting Priorities Straight?

Well, I did it. I finally nutted up and took the kids to see the final Harry Potter movie. I had put it off and stalled, using excuses such as bad timing, no money and not feeling well, but the truth was that I wasn't sure I was capable of handling it. I find it really unfair that people who will freely admit to crying over the death of a cartoon deer,(Bambies mom) or a movie dog when,(Old Yeller), make fun of people or say people like me ,"Need help" because we are bereft at the death of fictional characters that we have loved and followed for TEN YEARS.
I cried reading the book. Seeing the things I had read, acted out by actors I like and respect, was powerful and moving. Realizing that not only have the children who started those movies aged, but so have many of the others and that is soul clenching.
I cried during parts of the movie. It would have been much much worse had I not been prepared by my friend, but thanks to her I was at least prepared and able to maintain some dignity. The toughest scene for me to take was the scene in the forest where Harry sees and speaks with his lost loved ones. That scene just ...I shook with the power of my sobs and that was when my son actually patted my back. He understood.
My son was most affected by Lupin and Snapes deaths. He had heard what was going to happen, but seeing it got to him. We all walked out of there much more subdued than we went in, and there wasn't much talking on the way home other than an argument that I think was more a stress response than anything else.
Its been warm up here this week. I have actually enjoyed the heat and not being cold for once. I am probably the only one, but its nice to not need a hoodie in the middle of summer for once.
I have started slowly getting school clothes for the kids. Its not easy, daughter has grown like a weed and none of her jeans and almost none of her dresses fit so she needs EVERYTHING! Its all expensive and even though she isnt as picky as her brother, I like her to look good. My son is the problem child. He is a teen and at that age where what he wears is as important as how it fits. I have tired to step back and allow him to chose his own clothes and such, but my Lord the boy dresses like a twink. I finally told him flat out the other day that if he insisted on wearing skin tight skinny jeans with tight fitted tees, huge clunky shoes and a douchey small fedora, that if he got hit on by men, he better not get pissed off and rude, he should just politely inform them he just had poor fashion sense. He was not amused. I am not amused either, the boy stole a pair of MY Levis and has been wearing them. The are forever ruined and he had the audacity to complain that they,"Bind his bits", well DUH! They are made for a woman! I dont know how he thinks they look good. He is bigger than me, and taller so they are too short for him and waay too tight, but he wears them half off his ass so it looks like his knees are backwards. I have been tempted to pants him again just to prove my point,(once again),that wearing jeans hanging off your ass that low, is a bad idea.
He has other jeans. In fact he has several pairs of Old Navy jeans, but he wont wear them. He bitches about his t-shirts claiming I shrink them, but what he fails to realize is that he is growing! He cant wear a mans small anymore. He is in a medium headed to a large. He is too broad in the chest and hes getting to long bodied, but he doesn't realize that. He has outgrown his coats, his drawers, and pretty damn much everything. Its just like a financial apocalypse of the teenager kind.
I found myself a couple of pairs of jeans yesterday. I am lucky im not picky. I found them at a secondhand store for 4.00 a pair. Both were Old Navy, one still had the tags on them and the other pair looks brand new. Its hard for me to find a size 4 in black up here, so I got lucky and I grabbed them. Im not too proud. Im clearing out my western cut jeans. I am going to donate them to a woman's shelter so that someone might get some use out of them, after all, I haven't worn them but maybe once or twice in the past year and I have to keep moving
forward.
My writing is going pretty good. I am still shocked at all the hits my stories are getting. I have already hit over 1000 for this month and after hitting 7000 hits last month, I am on track to hit that again this month. Its an amazing feeling! I am even working on another chapter of my most popular story about back home. I may even take the advice of several of my friends and un-fic it and see about submitting it for publishing to see if anyone is interested, though I would leave the fic version for all the readers who have loved it.
The countdown to the concert has begun. Daughter is already in freakout mode on a fairly constant basis and she did something soo strange yesterday that I am still sitting here wondering if maybe I should limit her tv viewing even more or if I should just accept that she has become a child of Portlandia? You know she loves her monkey,"Jackson" with all her little heart? She carries it almost everywhere and sleeps with it, talks to it, plays with it. The goofy thing is her best friend. She also collects other monkeys, but they are secondary to Jackson and rarely rate her attention very long. Well, yesterday I found her another monkey for her collection. It was a cute one, blonde colored and a nice quality beanie baby.When Sus and I went by to pick up her and her brother to take them to a surprise lunch, she was forced to leave Jackson at home by her brother. She got into the car and I handed her the new monkey. She squealed and hugged it and decided his name was,"Fredrick", and she took out her "cell phone" and called Jackson.
The conversation was soo weird! She said, "He is soo excited to meet you too!" She chattered on and then said,"Love you too, bye!" and hung up. She then informed all the shocked passengers in the car that,'Fredrick" is gay. I have to say, that is a first for me. There was silence in the car for a bit and I just said, "Okaaaay." So, now what? I know I have raised my kids to be open minded and to believe in,'Live and let love", but amongst stuffies? What about Jackson? How much of what she said does she understand? I know she has clued in on a lot of things and she knows that our neighbors are a couple and she is starting to develop some,"gaydar", but her father would lose his ever loving, homophobic mind, not that there's anything wrong with that.

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