I will admit that there are some things that I do tend to be a bit narrow minded about, and usually its things that might come back to hurt my kids, or that could potentially be detrimental to their well being, but I really do try hard to get past any learned or developed prejudices that I have gained over the years, and as a former cop from a border state, yes, I did develop some prejudices and issues due to experiences that I had on a personal level, and it has been very, very hard to get past them and see some people as individuals and not as the same group that I handled for drug dealing or robbing or murdering or assaulting innocent people, and someone throwing a child at you so they could escape with drugs tends to leave a scar on your psyche, but I am working hard to get past that image in my head so I do not pass it on to my kids.
The rest of my family has not been so open-minded though and that kinda bugs me. I have Pookie who I still think of as my Aunt even though she is all the way back home in Thailand now, and her two daughters are my adopted family members, and even though they aren't my blood kin, they are my family and I consider them just as important. Ali is half Iranian, and her father is never far from my mind though I know we will never be together again, I miss the times we had together and he was an important part of my life. I have had a wide variety of friends and acquaintances and even dated men from exotic locations,(much to my parents dismay), and even men much,much younger than me,(much to my kids dismay), and I think all the variety has made me a well rounded person who is more willing to consider the struggles that others may be going through, and that perhaps im just a little bit more forgiving.My attitude towards many things has changed over the years, and I have become more liberal as I have gotten older, and I think that just comes with realization that its just not worth ruining some kids life over a damn joint, or if they want to be just as miserable as straight people with all the hassles of divorce and that crap, then hell, let em. I could never go back to being a cop because I simply could not rack some kid up over a little weed, though when it comes to meth or driving drunk, I would every time. There are many things that I just dont feel are any of my damn business, like what celebrity is sleeping with who, and where they were seen or any of that stuff, I believe that they need to be left the hell alone when they aren't working. Chance told me about some video he saw on the news about that poor Pattinson kid getting jammed up by the photo rats and that the cops refused to help him , and I wished like hell I was those damn cops supervisor because they would been walking the graveyard shift in the ghetto for the rest of their very short careers for such piss poor public service. I dont buy magazines or watch those kinda shows or crap because it annoys me that people harass kids like that until they make them crazy. I did security for a bit, and I got to see just how nuts it gets and it could be very easy to come to hate folks in a very short while, many people have no manners and no common sense and when you mix booze and libido into it, things get out of hand real quick, oddly enough especially amongst the damn women! The worst I ever had to deal with was a drunk chick that thought she was going backstage no matter what" and no short little dyke looking cop wannabe was gonna stop her" .I really enjoyed that take down, and I swear, suit casing someone that outweighs you and is taller than you by a good 5 inches and then dragging them 20 feet to a cop car should not be as fun as that was, but hell, I was easy to please back then and the pay was great.
I sent the picture of Stevie with Jackson Rathbone, to mom and dad and sis, yesterday and I get a call from mom asking me,"How in the hell did you get Chance wrestled into a suit and smiling?" and I was confused for a bit., What are you talking about momma? Chance doesn't have a suit and last I saw him he was still scowling at me for daring to wake him up before noon. "Well the PICTURE you sent us" she says sounding all annoyed, like I had lost what few marbles I have left. "Hes got his arm around Stevie?....Whos that in the background too?" Now she sounds annoyed at me. Momma... thats NOT Chance! "What! Oh dont be silly, the picture you sent just yesterday!" Momma....can you pull up the picture again?now IM getting annoyed, "Jennifer, I think I know my own grandson!Those dimples! and Stevie is in it in some parking lot, he needs to shave by the way. Are you letting him grow a beard or something? hes really looks better without all that fuzz hes looking thin, is he eating? MOM! pull up the DAMN PICTURE! THATS NOT CHANCE! now my sister gets on the phone, " Heeeey Beyaaach, moms showin me some picture of Chance and Stevie in a parking lot, what the deal?" Sis, are you wearing your glasses? "Nah, I only need them for driving". BULLLLSHIT! go get your damn glasses. "'You dont have to yell, hang on im putting them on...ohhh who the hell is that boy?" now my moms back," Who is that kid with his arm around Stevie and where is Chance?" Chance ran off with the band, Stevie wanted to and I am now insane, dang it mom! I told you guys for over a month that we were going to a concert of the 100 Monkeys and that is Jackson Rathbone. My mom says,"Who is that? and is promptly echoed by my younger than me sister. Go ask Bailey Joe, I gotta go have a beer. "So this isnt Chance? No mom, he wont be caught dead in a suit and he doesn't smile, he prefers the brooding/sullen & skinny jean/rock t-shirt with orange clown fro look.
I may be getting older, and I may have recently realized that I need to wear my goofy looking circular framed, trifocal(Jesus wept) glasses more than I can got without them, but I do stay up on most of the current things in my kids lives, and even if I dont particularly care for their style or type of music or movie, or dress, I do at least pay attention and see if its something that they should be involved in, that is how I know that I dont allow anything like reality based crap like Jersey Shore on in my home, and that Brokencyde really annoys the snot outta me but that Chance likes them like I liked Ozzy. Black Veil Brides is not my favorite, but I will most likely be buying tickets to their show here in the next little bit because he really wants to go. The Warped Tour is another thing we are looking into and as long as he keeps an open mind and is willing to consider my favorites as well, we will keep up with the sharing, even if it means I buy the tickets and he pretends he doesnt know who I am once we get to the show, I expect him to return the favor when we go to shows that I want to act a little nuts at in the future, I behaved myself really well at this last show, and I was in "Mom" mode, but it was not easy because a raging fan was lurking under the surface just dying to escape, though never in front of my kids.
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