I know what you are thinking Rog, that is soo not funny! Yeah, I might have had a bit of an attitude when I was in school. Yeah, I might have gotten out of running cross country by telling the Asst. Principal that I only signed up due to,'Temporary Insanity", but my son is such a hard headed kid, I swear he is waay worse than I ever was!
I dont care that my family insists that the,'Great Artistic bonfire" of '91 was very much the same kind of behavior. That was just my way of insuring that my art didn't get in the hands of people who didn't appreciate it, really! It wasn't because I was in a fit of pique over some pissing contest I had with my parents over schooling. He does things that just make no damn sense at times. My rebellions always had a purpose, and even if my father threatened me with New Mexico Military Institute more than I care to think about, I like to think that I stood up for what was important. I tried threatening my son with military school and he called my bluff. 'Please send me to boarding school! Please!! (he conveniently forgot I was talking MILITARY school), noo, he promptly started showing me all the websites for schools for the arts and such that I could never hope to afford and then he turned it into a guilt trip on me because I cant afford to send him to places like that. I was left sitting her thinking,'What the hell happened?"
I do blame myself for his negotiation and arguing skills. After all, when he was younger and got into trouble, I would hold a trial and allow him to present evidence in his defense and sometimes even allow him to broker a plea deal for a lighter sentence, so that has really come back to bite me in the ass.He will argue and negotiate and try to turn things back on me until I am literally just out of argument. Part of the blessing and the curse of having super intelligent kids like him is that you never get a moment to rest. I am always having to work to stay one step ahead of him, and watch what I say, because he picks up on things that I often wish he would just have missed, such as the "Tire iron" comment I made by accident.
We were watching some program together and he asked me what a tire iron was for. Being a bit distracted, I said,"Busting knee caps or removing lug nuts." He looked at me and said, "So how would you know they are good for busting knee caps?" And before you ask, nooo, I didn't think to say, I saw it on tv, he knows that I often make fun of fights and stuff we see on movies and on tv as what sissy boys imagine a real fight is like. He must have harassed me for an hour before he finally gave up and said he would just call my sis. This is soo not a good thing! I know my sis will dime me off about my younger and wilder days in Dallas. She considers it payback for sending her kids musical instruments for Christmas that one year.
He is quite the temperamental artist as well. He spends hours playing his guitar and working out the chords and notes for songs,and if you dare disturb him, he throws a bitchface that would do any teen girl proud. I know I was the same way when I was working on my photography and art, but often in photography, if someone disturbed you, it meant that you lost the shot! He can just go back and try the chords again on the guitar.
He harasses me about how I dress and such, but I catch him swiping my clothes all the damn time. the little bit of jewelry I have has been pretty much commandeered by him, and I often see him headed out for an afternoon out, wearing more bling than a rapper! I stopped him the other day and told him he looked 'Douchey" for wearing 4 necklaces and around 6 bracelets as well as a t-shirt that had died back when he was a baby,and one of my hats. He called me a hypocrite! We got into a big debate over whether or not it was hypocritical for me to call my son a douche when the young rock star I find soo interesting often wears as much or more bling and odd clothing. Trying to explain the difference to a kid that is standing there, looking like he had finally bested me in an argument was funny, and a bit disconcerting. I finally ended the discussion with,"I aint that boys momma, and I dont have veto power over his choices, I do over yours!" Yeah, it was a lame way to go, but Rog, I swear!
We have the ongoing arguments over his hair that just wear me the hell down. He blames me for his dark, curly hair that is so thick you cant see his scalp most of the time. That is truly not my fault. I am a blonde! He seems to forget that. I offer suggestions about letting his hair just grow out and he then chooses to get it all buzzed off. I suggest a hair cut and he of course wants to let it grow. I tried to talk him out of attempting to go blonde that one time, and he wouldn't listen to me, so when it went orange I did indeed laugh at him, a lot. But that was deserved, much like how much I got laughed at and teased when I colored my hair red. He seems to have to just find things out the hard way. Told him not to pierce his ears, and he begged and pleaded and harassed me about it until I finally gave in and let him get it done and of course he hardly ever wears earrings now. He talked about getting his tongue pierced until I threatened to explain just WHY people tend to get that done. I can still stop pretty much any argument by threating to explain the sexual implications of many of the things he wants to do.
He is soo competitive about everything. He has been looking up stats on the runners from last year for his school and and he has already started training even though the season isn't for a few more weeks. He thinks he is fat, even though he has dropped back into a size 29 waisted jeans and he has a six pack! He challenges me to run against him, which is really not fair because of my bad knee, but I guess that he just has to try and prove that he can outdo me at something. He knows I can still take him down and felony flop him, and that really freaks him out. He wants me to teach him how I do stuff like that when I only got ahold of one of his thumbs, but I swear, I need to keep my edge somehow, because the boy is driven to prove he is better at everything for some reason. He has said he intends to get famous and then hunt up his biological father and spit in his eye, even though I have tried to tell him that its not worth it. I tell him that he should get famous because he wants to, not because he thinks he has to prove something to someone that gave nothing to his life except some genes. I would rather he went to college and got an engineering degree or something practical so that he could make a steady living and be comfortable, but he his chasing something that he will probably get, because for as strange and difficult as he is, he is also determined and driven, and I like to think that maybe he got that from me and I will blame all the weirdness and difficult temperament on his father.
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