Dear Roger: Sex- Its On My Mind...ALOT

I guess its because its Spring, or maybe its because all the fic I have been reading lately is just chock a block full of all kinds of sex, (some that is just...whoa), but I'll tell you, I really need to figure something out. My last venture into getting lucky was not so enjoyable. In fact, I have to wonder, just when did guys begin to believe that speed equals quality? I am not into the whole 'Jackrabbity" kinda thing, I tend to prefer the more slow and deep and make the most of what you got kinda thing. And really, I am not a cuddler. I dont like to talk or what not. But jeesh. Its really difficult to find a guy who fills the bill nowadays.

I tried the whole online dating thing. I met a couple of "interesting" guys and I went on a couple of dates, but I am just not into the whole game playing thing. Guys my age have issues like I have. Kids, ex's, weird schedules and hobbies and health issues and preferences. I swear, you tell one guy that if you were interested in some one with, "fantastic oral skills" you would go lesbian, that really puts them off their game and kinda freaks them out, but seriously?! Why have a guy around with all their irksome issues if that was what I was after? I want a decent pecker with a tolerable man attached to it! A man that has a sense of humor and that isn't out of shape or fugly.

Im not too wrapped up in the whole racial issue, but I know myself and there are just some cultural issues that wouldn't jive with me. Guys my age tend to bore me, and they often have issues that make them difficult to deal with, or they are in their second childhood and driving the substa-penis and chasing 20'somethings and popping viagra and trash talking women my age. Its cool. I understand it. I like the younger meat too. I went to a concert a while back and all I could think about was all the dirty things I would like to do to the pretty young man being such a tease on stage. I got over it, but damn! Being 40 is hard. You go though this weird like second puberty where you are horny all the time. Its distracting, especially when its hard to get out and meet guys and when your body is doing all kinds of funky things like adult onset acne and weird hairs and migraines. Never mind the fact your period decides to drop in for a visit at odd times, and you have mood swings that make Charlie Manson look normal. My poor kids dont know what to do. My son is in the throes of puberty and he is moody as well and he tries to stay out of my way, but there are days that we butt heads like a couple of mountain goats and the tension is epic. We both know its because hormones are out of whack and because my bastard of an ex is constantly fucking up the bank account and screwing us over financially, but I swear there are days I feel lucky that he hasnt killed me in my sleep, because I know I have deserved it.

The constant rain is a real pain in the ass for all of us. I dont mind the wet, but the cold really sucks. I get out occasionally and I enjoy that, but being cold really sucks and kinda ruins the fun. Went out with a friend last week and I was hoping I might meet a guy, but fuck. my. life...she met a guy. A really cute guy. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Good for her, but why not me? What the hell is it that scares guys off? I was dressed nice, I smiled, and thhpt...

I have considered a new B.O.B., but the bad thing about that is finding a place to stash it and the time and privacy to use it. I never seem to have 10 minutes to myself without someone in the middle of my business, but I am beginning to wonder if lack of good quality sex can lead to insanity?