Dear Roger: What to say?

Rog, my heart hurts. I know if you were here you would be in agony right now. The country that you spent 7 years of your life exploring and loving, the culture that welcomed you and that you immersed yourself in, is bleeding. I have watched horrified as Japan has been torn apart by first the horror of the earthquake and then a tsunami of Hiroshiga proportions and I wondered about your friends and the women that were at your memorial service. I dont remember any of their names, and I am sure my mother doesn't have any of them, but I pray they are safe, after all, they cared for you and that makes them precious to me. The pain and suffering that has gone on all over the world has been hideous to behold, but Japan...that was close to home, not only because of you, but because my eldest daughter had planned to go study over there before she allowed a couple of albatrosses to weigh her down. I had hoped she would break free and go after all, but now, now I am glad she is safe. I hope your friends are safe. I wish I had gotten to meet some of them. I heard it was quite an interesting event, your memorial service. There were women from all over the world, but Japan was quite well represented for some reason. I guess the time you spent there was happy for you, and I know you loved that country as much as you loved this one. I still am quite adept at eating with chop sticks, and the tea ceremony, and I have actually attempted to pass that knowledge on to my own kids, but I lack your teaching ability, and they are more interested in the possibility of using things as weapons over eating, though all my kids love Asian food and they all know at least greetings in multiple languages, that is because of you and your influence.

My kids have been praying hard for the people in Japan, that is their way of coping and trying to help. I wish I could do more, and maybe by getting back into EMS, I will be able to get into international rescue. I hope the worst is over and that thing will begin to heal, and soon.

I reconnected with a friend from my past today. Another one of the old command staff from my days as a deputy passed away, and nobody bothered to notify me. That is low. Even if things are on the outs between me and the guy that I loved, he always sent me death notifications of my friends, but this time there was nothing. I hadn't heard from the young boyfriend that I had dated for a few years and that had always been a friend, so I got pissed off and I texted him and chewed him out for abandoning me as well. he texted me back and we talked for a couple of hours and all is well. Hes good for an ass kicking and for getting me back into my cop mindset and helping me get back into my routines when I am being a slouch. He used to be a pretty good friend and its nice to know that hes still around. I can count on him to make sure the right music is played at my wake and stuff like that, things that my parents would screw up or just not bother with at all.

I wrote a little this week, not as much as I would like, but then there has been a lot of heavy crap going on around me and that tends to slow the flow down quite a bit. I managed to put up chapters of both of my stories, but I let folks know I was probably going to put the longer one on hiatus for a bit, just until I find the voices again. I got a lot of really good reviews that were written by folks that seem to be more adult than the typical reviewer and that is interesting, but I still need a break from it. I want to write some lighter and funnier stuff, but I have to find it.

I enjoyed teasing my friend today by leading him to believe that I was considering switching teams because I was having such rotten luck with men. He was still pretty freaked out when I quit texting him. LOL!