We talk about everything, and I guess its great that we have such an open and close relationship, but that is a double-edged sword. While as his mother, I offer my son advice about his personal grooming and dress and behavior, he feels free to do the same to me.
Yesterday, we were finishing up cleaning the old apartment so we could hand over the keys today. I had a hat on and my hair pulled back out of my face and was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He grabbed my pony-tail as we were walking up the sidewalk and he said,"When you get paid, why dont you spend some money and do something about this hair? You need to get a style so you look like a girl."
This started a debate over my manner of dress, my lifestyle, my habits and just what the hell was wrong with my hair? I have let it grow since we got up here to Portland. I haven't colored it, cut it or done anything with it other than wash it and let it grow. He now thinks I should get it styled into some kind of layered mom cut and that I should get the silverish stuff dealt with. What the hell?
Im not dating. I dont have anyone who gives a damn what I look like. I wear jeans and boots and t-shirts most days and while I am clean and presentable, I probably dont look really approachable, and really, I dont care. I am not going to change who I am to date some guy, so why should I bother messing about with my hair?
He went on to lecture me about getting a manicure and not wearing as much black!
Daughter even got into the debate and piped up about that! "Yeah mom, you wear black ALLLL the time, you need to wear pink or something." This is a child that talks to a stuffed monkey. I am not taking fashion advice from her. I like wearing black. It suits me.
Son is the opposite, he likes bright colors and has no problem wearing all kinds of odd arrangements. I asked him if he was wanting me to try to get out and date or something, he shrugged and said,"You need to do something other than sit around and read and write all the damn time."
Daughter has been just as nosy about my personal life lately. She came up to me the other night and asked,"Do you have a special someone?" I told her,"No, just you kids." she looked surprised and said,"Well why not? Everyone should have someone! I am going to find you someone."
Son was sitting next to me cracking up at this exchange and he said,"You are in trouble now."
Son was sitting next to me cracking up at this exchange and he said,"You are in trouble now."
I have images of me having to take her out in public muzzled for my sanity. She has no qualms about talking to people and asking embarrassing questions.
I have had to referee fights between her and her brother lately. They aren't as hateful, but she is much more sensitive to any verbal jabs he may inflict on her. He is starting to become aware that she looks up to him as a erstwhile father figure and he has somewhat stepped into that role. He taught her to tie her shoes in double knots, he is very protective of her and he calls her to task when she misbehaves. She listens to him as well as she listens to me, and when he tells her to go to bed or to not eat her dinner in my room, she gets mad, but she obeys. She hugs and kisses him goodnight, and even though he initially resisted and acted like a typical boy afraid of getting cooties, he now hugs and kisses her back and tells her he loves her.
We are working on becoming a affectionate family. We hug and talk and joke and tease each other constantly and we talk things through. Its not always easy and sometimes voices get raised,but raising a teen son on my own is the toughest challenge that I have ever faced.
Sticky boy turns 11 in a couple of weeks. We have been trying to figure out what to send him for his birthday and when I asked the ex what he wanted, I had to have him repeat it several times because I wasn't sure I had heard correctly. He told me that he wanted,"Wii games, some movies and ladies." I said,"Some what?" the ex said,"Ladies, lots and lots of ladies." I sat there stunned for a minute, looking at the phone as I repeated ,"Ladies?"
My soon to be 11 year old son, who is just at 3 ft tall, bespectacled, gap toothed, Down Syndrome affected, ginger son, loves the ladies. My ex tells me he tells him frequently tells him,"Dad, I really like ladies." The ex tells me that when he sees a woman who he particularly finds appealing he will smile at her and then say,"Raaar" with the little hand claw motion.
I advised the ex to ban any further viewing of Austin Powers and to begin ,"The talk" now!
No comments:
Post a Comment