Dear Roger: Back to Over-Achieving

As if I didn't have enough to do, I have adopted a dog and I am working on training it as a therapy dog. Hes already been a much needed salve for my wounded soul, and just by having him and his goofy puppy self around, I feel happier and less stressed out for some reason. I dont know if its that new pup smell, or if if the fact that cuddling something that just listens and loves to cuddle without demanding anything is what I needed. Hes going to be a moose. Hes half Bull Mastiff, half Bloodhound and his paws are huge. Hes an odd color for that combination, (black with white markings), but I can see the underlying brown around his nose and eyes and hes got the mastiff muzzle and eyes with the hound ears and tail. Hes cute as hell and seems to be pretty damn smart. Hes already learned to lead and potty training is going well. The only accident has been on sons watch when he put him down on the rug before taking him out. Lucky it was a cheap rug from Ikea and it will wash.

He was flea ridden when I got him so before I even brought him in the house I went and bought a flea treatment and put it on him. He needs his shots and worming and a myriad of things that all pups need, and I have that scheduled for the first week of the month. I have decided to wait on the neutering until hes around 6months old, in order to give him some time to mature, the only drawback to that is that he has already spent a great deal of time humping his monkey chew toy, much to my eldest sons amusement and daughters horror.

Crate training is going well. He likes to have the space away from all the commotion and it gives me a place to put him where I know hes not eating sons guitar. I was never a fan of crating until I moved into an apartment, but I think its a great idea.

The kids have been over the moon with him. There was quite a debate over his name, and daughter got shouted down pretty quickly when she tried to suggest,"Jackson", so she was annoyed at us for a while, but my oldest son suggested Spencer, and daughter quickly supported it, and I really couldn't find anything wrong with the idea, so the new guy is named 'Spencer".

Stubby spends a lot of time in the floor, laying down next to him, talking to him, and that is what I was hoping for. Stub needs that. Sticky and the pup play all over the house and the pup seems to be really gentle with him, which is wonderful. My daughter has already asked me to build a saddle for him so her monkey,"Jackson" can ride him around. The humor is never ending around here now.

Work has kept me very busy this last week. I worked as an extra one day for a new show that is coming out this fall. It wasn't as much fun as working on Portlandia. I doubt I would do it again.

Daughter is still finishing her weeks worth of homework in less than a 1/2 hour and finding her spelling words and math to be a joke. She took a timed math test where she was supposed to complete as many as possible in 2 minutes. She took time to argue with her brother and throw a pencil, and still finished them all in 1.45 seconds. I talked to the principal about advancing her a grade or two in order to keep her from getting bored, or at least putting her in advanced English and Math classes and maybe leaving her in her class for everything else, though her art and such is also advanced for her class, he is supposed to be setting something up. Hopefully they will figure something out quick, the child has a temper and is already showing signs of frustration and boredom. If shes like this at 7, by the time she is a teen, she will be on the road to dropping out in frustration, just like I was.

My sis is still struggling with the suicide of her friend.I have tried to explain to her, that its not what she did or didn't do that would have made a difference, when the pain is that deep, its hard to pull back from that edge, you have to have some pretty deep and well set anchors and if you dont, then its easy to just take that final step off the edge. I have stood on that edge, one foot out into the space over the abyss, ready to drop and what pulled me back was a voice that said,"Mommy?" Without him I would have fallen and even then I have walked the razors edge. Self-loathing, depression, weariness of the soul, are hard things to fight. If you are alone or surrounded by friends, those things just seep into your soul and pull your down until you feel like you have nothing left. My sis is hopefully starting to understand, but suicide destroys those around it just as much as it does the person who commits it.