Dear Roger: Dont Avada Kedavra Your Brother for Stuffing Your Monkey Down His Pants

I am a referee. That is pretty much what I spend my days doing now, when I am not playing maid, cook and counselor. My kids are back to acting like the have never been apart, so they are back to bickering and fighting and teasing each other relentlessly. Most of the time its good natured and they are just having fun, but sometimes it gets a bit heated and I have to step in and end the fighting before it gets too bloody. The one most likely to get physical is my little girl. The boys like to torment her by stealing her Jackson or by making jokes about her favorite boy, and then all hell breaks loose. I try not to micro-manage, to let them work it out on their own, but when she has Sticky down on the floor and is punching him, I have to step in and send the parties to opposite ends of the apartment.

She is tough, and a little mean. I know that, but you know what? She has been around 3 older brothers and she has had to deal with a lot in her short life. Shes a very smart kid and she keeps us all on our toes with how much she knows and is capable of. She decided to play Sodoku yesterday. I dont know how to play Sodoku. She just sat there very matter of fact, with a pen, working over the page, muttering to herself and marking until she was done. She tried to explain it to me and said,"Its soo easy and fun!" but I just kinda glazed over. She is pretty damn good at Scrabble too. She tried to get her brothers to play against her, but her oldest brother warned them that she gloats when she wins, so they refused to play that and insisted on playing cards instead.

Today is the first day of school for the kids and while I am glad they are getting back into a routine, I am also worried about her. Her teacher told me that budget cuts have killed the 'Gifted" curriculum. So that means my child, who functions several grade levels above her peers in many areas, is going to be sitting in a classroom, unchallenged. She is going to be bored and soon frustrated. She will quickly tire of getting all the little certificates that say yes, she is smart and making all "A's" and she will realize that she is the only kid in her class reading Harry Potter and understanding it, and she will ask me again,"Why do I have to go to school?" I dont know what to do. I cannot afford private school for her. I cannot even afford music or dance lessons for her. With all four kids on my own, and two jobs that are part time or off and on, I am lucky to be able to feed them. I am getting no help from the ex. He called the other day to tell me he had sold the washer and dryer, a nice, expensive, HE set that I loved for its water saving and energy saving qualities, for $500. He was thrilled and happy. I felt sick considering what they had cost less than 2 short years ago. When asked if he could send some money to help with the kids, I was told that he needed the money to,"Get Right". yeah...like that's going to happen.

Im trying to find resources for my little girl, and for her brothers to challenge them. I make sure she has all the art supplies she could ever need, and I do my best to make sure that son's guitar has new strings at least once a month, but he has never had a lesson, and she desperately wants violin lessons. The other two boys are still trying to find their niche,but Stubby seems to like music as well and has mentioned wanting to play the trumpet. I dont know how that would go over in an apartment, but I know music is a good thing and it soothes the savage beasts, and considering all the mayhem that goes on around here, that might be a good, good thing.