Dear Roger: "Get The Monkey Out of Your Pants!" and other lapses in sanity

The boys have finally stopped feeling like they are guests in their home. I know this is true because they have started teasing and harassing their sister and being the boys I know they can be. I have said,"Get the monkey out of your pants!" more times in the past week that I have said in the past couple of years, and considering that her eldest brother used to stuff her Jackson down his pants as torture for daughter on about a weekly basis,that is saying something.

I dont know where my mind was today when I went along with sons bright idea to take everyone and go to Ikea. Four kids, Ikea on a Saturday on a HOLIDAY weekend. I am lucky I didn't make the evening news. It was crowded, busy and noisy as hell and that was just my little contribution to the fray. I bought a few things to make 5 people sharing an apartment that made 2 people feel crowded, a little more comfortable and then we went looking for a few things daughter needed for school at the mall that was attached. Eldest son had plotted to have his girlfriend meet him in the Ikea, so she was with us for quite a while. I feel sure that this little outing served to forever put her off having sex and especially having kids, so I guess it was a worthwhile venture.

We didn't find daughter any good boots for school but mainly because she was more interested in scooting around the floors of the stores in her socks and enjoying the way being in socks on tile helped her to dance than us not finding any good boots. She got her new monkey backpack to go along with all her monkey related school supplies, so she counted today as a success, even if she did have to put up with Jackson getting locked in the trunk of the car we had borrowed for the day because I was tired of carrying him around and dealing with her brothers stealing him and doing crude things. Both boys already have marks from where she has tore them up in defense of her monkey, so big brother made the executive decision to lock him in the trunk.

I gave up the master bedroom. After measuring and looking at all the options, it just made more sense to let the boys have the bigger room with the extra closet. Its close living, but we are adjusting and settling in. School starts back on Tuesday for the little kids and Wednesday for big brother. I am getting more and more work and I even have a couple upcoming extra gigs that look to be happening in the next two weeks. Life is crazy and I barely have any time to myself, but I love having my sons home with me and even though im 10 times more broke that I was before they came home, we are still finding ways to have fun and the boys seem happy.

The ex called to say he had quit smoking...again, which makes me even happier that I got the boys out of there, because last time he quit smoking, we all suffered.

The musical instruments are finally starting to get used regularly. We have 2 guitars that son constantly is messing with, a violin that daughter is wanting to get started on, and enough harmonicas and penny whistles that I could start a full band. The boys are sorting out what they want to play and daughter is constantly getting them to sing with her and she is forcing them into her plays and teaching them how to pray. Listening to Sticky pray is hysterically funny. He yells at everyone to close their eyes and,'Listen up, dang it!" and he starts in with what sounds like someone speaking in tongues. He rambles on for a minute or two, unless he catches someone with their eyes open, and then he starts over after yelling at them to "Keep eyes closed! Dammit!" then he mutters and rambles on few more minutes and when he ends it he says a very loud and exuberant,'AMEN!" He stated leading the prayers after everyone complained that daughter was taking soo long with all her prayers for her favorite monkey men along with her other add ins, but I think we are beginning to rue that decision. I have given up ever eating a hot meal ever again.