Well its trying to make up its mind if its going to be cold up here, and man is it messing with me pretty hard! I have managed to get my first ear infection of the season and as I am writing this, I am waiting for my right eardrum to just go ahead and burst again. Im used to the pain,hell, we all know pain doesn't bother me, but the thought of losing even more hearing is really getting to me.As it is,I am pretty close to deaf in my right ear and people notice now that I cock my head funny when I am listening to them. Chance complains that my music is often too loud,thats right, my teen age son complains about my music being too loud, an often he tells me that he has to speak several times to get my attention if he says anything to me from my right side. Its pretty depressing. I would rather be anything other than deaf, and not that I think its a horrible thing in general, but that as a person who finds music as vital to life as breathing, I just cannot imagine my life without being able to hear it. Blindness would be scary, but after living with Amir and experiencing with him how he handled the world, I know its doable. But music...music is everything. Books can be in braille,or on tape if you lose your sight, and you can feel music though the beat, but its not the same. When my tinnitus gets really bad and it knocks out pretty much everything else, it just takes me to a dark place. Today all I have is a sharp buzzing in my right ear and the pain is pretty bad, which tells me that the pressure is pretty intense. Ive already taken Tylenol and Motrin to reduce the swelling and put heat on it, but even if I got in to see my doctor and got a shot of rocephin, its too late, by the time it takes effect, it will have burst again.So CRAP! I guess I will just be in a funk as I am headed to my job interview. Which is the actual bit of good news I have to report, I have a job interview today and another interview tomorrow! They are mcjobs, meaning the types of jobs that would drive you nuts for me even considering them, but they are survival jobs that will pay some bills until I can get back into school and writing and they wont require me to think. I like that, I can just shut my brain off at the door, do a numb nuts job and then come home and relax, its not like being a cop or a medic, where I brought it home all the time and wrestled with it in the wee hours. The downside is, both are working with the general public, but maybe that will be good for me, I do need to work on trying to not tell people to go fuck themselves quite soo much. I might actually find a boyfriend if I could learn to keep myself leashed up just a wee bit.
Kids are getting excited about Halloween, and this year I am dressing up as well. Sis wants to go as Rosalie from Twilight,(Holy hell what a fitting character choice!!) and I am going as" Tank Girl" my favorite comic book/movie character. I already have the clothes and stuff, so I wont have to buy anything for me, and Sis will just need a little help, but she has most of her stuff already too. Chance is going as a rock star...big surprise! Not. The boy has taken to wearing ratty jeans, ratty shirts, more bling than a rapper and he convinced me to buy him another hair color kit, so now his hair isn't an odd orangey gold color anymore, its more a weird brownish blackish purple color. Hes just a strange boy. I replaced his "I love Boobies" bracelet and then Trina asked if I could get a couple for her and my niece. Considering all the crap she has been through with her breast cancer issues, I had no problem picking her up a couple and I even bought myself one. She is still on that every 90 day mammogram protocol and I know it has to be stressful for her. I worry about her all the time. My niece is a cool kid, and shes the one that got me started on the whole Twilight fiasco, soo, I guess I should send her a goodie or two more often. I wish she could come up here this summer, we would have a blast, because she is every bit the mess my sis was when she was younger.
I sabotaged the gnarly t-shirt of Chances. It had pit stains,coffee stains,(he doesn't even drink coffee so that was weird), and other just grossness on it. I had stain treated it several times and tried to get them out, but it wasn't working, so I put oxyclean on it in copious amounts, straight, and left it sitting...for 3 days. What is left of it will make a nice cleaning rag.He tried to retaliate by taking my 100 Monkeys t-shirt with evil intentions, but I trumped that by threatening to repossess his computer or to post less than flattering updates on all his social networking pages, along with pictures, he called me ,"Evil, sadistic,diabolical, psychotic and cruel" and I have to say, the boy knows me too well. But I love my t-shirt and it only has one little hole and a less than noticeable coffee stain on it, but I actually drink coffee!
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