Dear Roger: As If Things Couldn't Get Any Stranger

Rog, I think I'm "mature". When the hell did that happen? Maybe there is another name for what I am? I mean, I still do all kinds of stuff that could be described as,'Immature", because I will stick my tongue out at folks, flip the bird, make weird faces, dance inappropriately, and I made some really bad choices in all kinds of things. I wear my jeans too tight,I like to jump in puddles on occasion and do all kinds of other stuff that could be described as 'Immature", but I did something last night that I never thought I would do! I had a conversation with my sons girlfriend. I was kind. I didn't go off on her for daring to try to corrupt my darling little boy,(snort), noo...when she texted me first, I responded politely. When she seemed to need someone to talk to, I did. I was kind and I reached out to let her know that I really had nothing against her other than she was my baby boys girlfriend, and that kinda freaks me out because I have goals for him that having a girlfriend put at risk. We talked about all that. She seems like a really sweet girl. I think I could like her. She is very pretty,(a model, no less), so he could do worse, but her family situation is tough and that concerns me quite a bit. I know he is not going to be happy with me for talking to her, but she seemed to need an ear last night, so I was it.I even invited her to go to the 100 Monkeys concert with us, which I know will probably freak son out because he doesn't want his girlfriend anywhere near those boys, but he will just have to deal.

I dont know if thats the mom thing or what, but I worry about kids and their happiness. Its like the young fella that my baby girl loves soo much. Yeah, she loves him much, but she is 7 and that aint happening, ever. She is going to go to college and have a career and a life and marry a good boy from a good, old, Texas family and she will run things like my granny did. There were pictures of that boy out with a girl from sometime over the weekend, and the girl he was with was soo cute, and they made such a cute couple! My first thoughts were, "Oh HOW SWEET! Now get married you scamp and have lots of pretty lil babies,(a good portion of which I hope are daughters so you get a bunch of grey hairs in payback for all the ones you have caused all the parents of daughters), the sooner the better! But it was shocking how many of the nutballs on twitter and such were pissed off. Jeesh, its kinda scary how weird some folks are nowadays about that, especially the girls. I would lock my daughters in a convent if they said 1/10th of 1% of the stuff that I hear or see some of the weirdos out there saying. I show that kinda stuff to my son. I want him to see exactly what kind of world he is wanting to get into when he claims he wants to get into acting or being a rock star. There is really no way in hell I want any of my kids to do that. The art or the writing and such is reasonable. You dont get quite the level of insanity unless you are a King or a Rowling, but still...wow! I would never have imagined saying the things that kids seem to feel its okay to say to people nowadays. Manners and decorum seem to be really lacking in the world in most places.

Son thinks I go a little over the top on manners and decorum sometimes, and maybe I do, but my family honor is important to me as well as appearances, so I will not have my son running around with his pants hanging off his ass, acting like he is some kind of hooligan with no home training. He is Southern and Texan and comes from a long line of Texans, not a bunch of jackasses with no more common sense than God gave a billy goat, so he knows that you hold the door for the elderly and you dont burp or fart in public or act a fool without pissing me right the hell off and causing an immediate cessation of whatever fun or trip was going on. We went to Target the other day to get some things and he needed some new shorts. I was gonna buy them for him, but he was being annoying and a bit disrespectful. The icing on the cake came when he farted, loudly and intentionally in the middle of the aisle in front of his sisters face. He knew he was bought and paid for before I even had to say anything. I just hung up the shorts, turned the cart to the front and paid for what we had and we left. He tried to claim it was an,"Accident", but im sorry, a 15 y/o with that poor of bowel control? I shoulda took his rotten young butt to the hospital right away! I was fit to be tied I was soo mad and embarrassed. He got in trouble for what he did and then he got in trouble for lying about it, so it was a tense night. He did apologize, but ill tell you what, if he didn't tower over me and I wouldn't have had to stand on my tippy toes to reach that ear of his, he would have got drug to the car by his ear. I am hoping that his girlfriend will be some assistance in helping him to remember his manners.He is a perfect gentleman around her, opening doors,serving her first, all kinds of things, so hopefully she has good home training too and can remind him that without that nowadays, you are just one of a herd.