Dear Roger: "Rattle and Hum" Has Turned Into "Wiggle and Smile"

Music has always been soo damn important to our lives, from the first song that I really remember hearing which was "Whiskey River" by Waylon and Willie, to the snippet of what I am sure is going to be a song I love called,"Time" by my favorite funky little band the 100 Monkeys, its been a part of my life that I wont do without because its as vital as air. I felt pure joy yesterday hearing that little snippet of that song, and it made me smile because I recognized the guitar chords as the music from the dvd that daughter got for Christmas. She came running out when she heard it playing and laughing said,"That song makes me want to smile and wiggle at the same time!" I had to agree with her, I felt the same way. Good music just has a way of doing that, making you want to smile and wiggle, so we did. We hopped up and danced crazily around the living room for the short amount of time that snippet of music played, laughing and enjoying the fact that we have made it. We are still hanging on. Nearly a year has gone by and we are still laughing and smiling and wiggling and our boys of summer are coming back with the sunshine. It was a happy day yesterday, in spite of the fact it rained all day and was a bit chilly. Music does that. It helps me to let go of all the fear and the stress and the worry for just a little bit. I forget that I never have enough money to take care of everything, that my knee is getting worse and the twitches and tremors now have a more ominous meaning possibly, I forget that my ex is screwing up and that has repercussions for me and my kids and all the others stresses and fears and things that make me rage leave. They just float away on the notes and I am free to just indulge in the notes and roll away on them.

My writing coming in fits and starts again. I have 3 chapters on paper for the sequel of the one story and I have written some more bits and pieces of a song that I am working on, so I just have to force myself to sit down and take all the notes I have scribbled in my notebooks and organize them into some semblance of coherency, and then maybe I will be able to do something with them. Typing them into my computer has become an issue because my ADD tendencies come out to play and I find myself wandering off into reading or talking to people or trying to do several different things while trying to write and then I lose my train of thought and it just gets distracting. I had 19 tabs open yesterday and I inadvertently discovered that is the tipping point for my computers sanity. It crashed on me last night and I had to spend a couple of hours defragging and cleaning out the cache as well as talking really sweetly to it. I have become quite the tech nerd and losing my computer would be quite a blow to me, so I try to treat it kindly, but like most things in my life, it suffers by proximity. Its already missing keys, and it has some wonky habits,(much like me), but it gets the job done most of the time.

My tattoo has finally, mostly, healed, or at least the monkeys butt has finally stopped itching. The flames seemed to have scarred as the roll up around the side of my wrist, but thats okay, it fits the whole theme of the tattoo.

I haven't been to the gym yet. Its not that I haven't wanted to, but with son gone to Idaho and the rain and all kinds of candy assed, whiny excuses, I just haven't gone yet. I plan to hit it every day this next week and develop a work out schedule like I had when I was 25 and see if I can get back to close to where I was back then. My knee is going to be the main problem with my work out plans, but I have a doctors appointment on my birthday to see about the eye twitch and tremor in my hand, so I will see what she wants to do about the knee. If she thinks its time to go ahead and replace it, its going to have to wait until after August, because there is no way in hell I am going to be on crutches at a concert. I have a brace that will get me through as well as pain drugs and what ever crap I need, but the whole, "No car" thing will be a real problem when I go ahead and get the knee done. I hope to get that whole issue handled before then.