Dear Roger:Relationship Advice? Are You Kidding Me?

My eldest son and his girlfriend of over a year broke up yesterday. The resultant drama had the whole house in disarray and of course he was upset and sad. He says it was a mutual thing, but who the hell knows? He asked me why people seem to make no damn sense some times and I just had to grin at him. He realized that I was 5 days post date from my last date with no phone calls or texts or even a Facebook poke, so I was once again...thhhhpppt! 'Aww, mom! Its like you always say, F'em and feed em fish heads." Exactly, he seemed to get it at that point. People kinda suck and once you realize that, life is a lot easier. You dont expect anything different from anyone, and that way you aren't disappointed when they turn out to be an asshat. I finally got him laughing by telling him tales of my dating experiences, and all the losers I had gone out with when I was younger and my theories on why I dont have any success now. I didn't mention my tumblr full of images of men tied up and vaguely dominatrix themed art or the gay erotica I write, but he told me that I just intimidate the hell out of men. "You gotta quit looking like you want to eat them or kick their asses mom! You need to get your teeth fixed,(another bad wisdom tooth has struck), and you need to try and be girly." I have tried. I dressed nice, I tried to tone it down a bit, but I am me. I am the queen of socially awkward and weird and as my favorite button says, I am, "Deeply and creatively weird" and pretty proud of it. I dont know what to do about it. I guess just saying,"Fuck it! Drive on." is the way to be, If I am destined to ever meet a man brave enough to take a tumble with me, then it will happen, but if not, well then I will be the crazy cat lady with Duracell as company.

Son seems to be coping pretty well. He has girls hitting on him all the time and he could have gone to Homecoming with a ballerina from his school, so I guess he will land on his feet. his mohawk got him in trouble with his girly entourage. They were not happy that he had cut his hair and apparently I nearly got ugly phone calls about it from some teeny fans of my son. The boy is 15, but has already got fans and an entourage due to his guitar playing and his singing. This is not good. I guess I should count my lucky stars that I gave him the talk about protection so soon? If hes going to be a rockstar, then he will need it.

The ex is staying in Ventura. I cant say I am disappointed, in fact I am thrilled to death. He had promised to send money to help with the boys Halloween, but we all know what the end result of that was. I dont count on anyone, especially a man, so I am putting together their costumes as best I can on my own.

I've been on a writing jag on my story,"Long Distance" that I had put on hiatus over 6 months ago! I am thrilled that the characters started talking to me again, but the writing jag comes at a really inconvenient time, I am busy at work and its hard to take time to jot down noted and ideas when you are cleaning Labrador out of some scrotes fridge.