Dear Roger: Some Things Are Just Better Said,Out Loud

Last night was an odd night to say the least. My son and I were actually hanging out together on the couch, just kinda doing our own things. He was playing some goofy online game and I was writing another chapter on my story,"The Face In The Rear View Mirror", when he looked at me and asked me what I was writing. I told him and for once he asked me,"Can I read it?" I was shocked. No one in my family has ever expressed an interest in any of my writing. I mean they know I write. I have talked about it for years, and my sister saw me perform my Cowboy Poetry,once. But none of them have ever asked to read it, or have shown the least inclination to find out what exactly it is that I spend my time working on. My son especially, though he did, by accident, read a little bit of the slash fic I write and he was somewhat traumatized to discover that his mom has knowledge of such things. So when he asked me if he could read 'Face" it caught me off guard. Its all stored online and in my computer, so I offered to read it to him instead, and he grinned at me, "Aunt Trina told me that is the best way to hear your stuff, so Yeah! I would like that." That also kinda shocked me. I didn't know my sis even remembered seeing me perform.

Rog, if you have never been to a "Cowboy Poetry" performance, its a little "Different" than you were probably used to. Its 1 part poetry, and 3 parts theater. Think Will Rogers style of story telling. It was fun and I miss doing it, but there is just not much call for it up here, though after last night, son was really encouraging me to look into getting back into it.

So anyway, I started at the first chapter and I began reading. I didn't just read it in a monotone, I read it in voice with emotion and everything and son went from staring at his computer screen to staring at me with a funny look on his face, and the next thing I know he had tears in his eyes. "Holy Crap, MOM!" I was there, I knew exactly where that was, I could see it all. Those things happened! You made it soo damn real! He was laughing and he asked,"Do you have more?" I told him I had 3 more chapters done and he said,"Well? read em!" But he wanted an idea of what the boy looked like, so I showed him a picture that was a rough approximation, and had him use his imagination to picture a few things different, like hair a little lighter and the nose that turned up on the end just a bit.

He put his computer down and I continued on with the next chapter and I had his full attention as I read, and when I did the voices he looked at me with something that I have rarely seen in my sons eyes,surprise.He laughed a lot during the second chapter and then he asked me,"Mom, why did you stop performing your poetry? Why didn't you go into acting? You are good! He made me laugh. I told him because being able to read a story that impresses a kid in the safety of my own living room is a hell of a lot different than being up in front of several hundred people on a stage where mistakes are not easily forgiven. I didn't want to starve, and besides, I had a kid to support. He just sat there shaking his head and saying,"Wow!" until I asked if he wanted to hear the rest of the story, and he gave the typical teenager response,'Duh!"

I read him the last couple chapters I had written and he laughed and even cried as he listened to me, until I said, "And thats all I have for now." He looked at me and said,"Mom, you have to let Aunt Trina read these, she would love them! My friends would love them! These stories are awesome, and they made me so homesick for Texas but they also took me back there too." He went on and on for a minute and then he asked, "Do you have any other stories that you can read to me?" I told him I had a couple, but that they were kinda mature content. He said," Well, could you read me the story up to where they start talking about sex and then stop?" So we sat out on the couch, with me reading my stories to him until the wee hours of the morning and he was blown away that his mom isn't just sitting here reading ,"Monkey Porn", I am writing some of it, but that I am also writing some things that he actually enjoys reading.

I am still a bit stunned. My son likes my work. He likes hearing me read it. I know he always comes out and watches when I perform 'Where The Wild Things Are" for sis and he seems to get a kick out of it, but jeeze, Ive only been doing that for close to 15 years, so I can do it in my sleep. He mentioned recording me reading my stuff to send to my sis and I dont know if I am comfortable with that. I know my son, he can be devious and I wouldn't put it past him to youtube me and that would not make me happy.So I think I will just save our living room readings for that, the living room, and share my stories with him while he is still interested and revel in the fact I have at least one fan in the family.