Dear Roger; The Story of My Life

Writing some of my adventures has had me thinking about my younger and wilder days, and I have even been wondering what became of my partner in crime. I haven't heard from him except for one last phone call when I was 18. Him and his mom had moved to Garland and he was in town with his mom because she was visiting some friends. He wanted to see me, but I had a boyfriend who was jealous, so I couldn't go see him, and after that rejection, he never called me again. I have missed Jimmy over the years, and Jimmy was his name, and I have wondered what he grew up to be and if he ever thinks of me. He was my best friend in those summers, and we did so many fun and crazy things, but it was all innocent fun. We were in a different time and place, and at a point and time where we weren't really aware of the interest that that we might have for each other later. I think we would have ended up dating,maybe together as a couple long term and I would have been spared the heart ache of the loss of the first boy I loved in such a violent manner, because Jimmy would have been that love and that boy would have just been a friend that died. I speculate on a lot of things, but I wish I knew where Jimmy had ended up, his last name is soo common that trying FB search just brings up so many possibilities that I give up in frustration. So I picture him as I last saw him, a little taller than me, with his dirty blonde curly hair, his green eyes and his nose that was a little bit pug, he had freckles across the bridge of it, and his front teeth had a slight gap. He had a scar on his elbows and knees from where he wrecked his dirt bike into a barb wire fence when the neighbors stupid dogs got into a fight in front of him and he turned to avoid them, and he always tanned up really golden like he had Indian in him.

Growing up in the country gave me a life that I wish my kids could have. I didnt have many fancy things, and I ran wild most of the time because my parents pretty much ignored me, but I had adventure and I did things that my kids will never get to experience. I had pear-apple wars with neighbor kids, I lived like Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, I knew woods lore and I fished and hunted and built shelters and rode horses while other kids were going to lessons and having their fancy country club parties, and maybe I may have been an outcast when I was younger, but now those same people that rejected me when I was younger, are now reading my stories and loving them, wishing they could have had that. Living an uncommon life left its marks and scars, and I am still an outsider from so much of those who live around me, but there are those out there still managing to exist like I did.

My sons life is so similar to another's that it made both of us realize that what he had been through can be not only survived, it can be triumphed over and can make him a stronger person. We watched the movie,"This Boys Life" together the other night, and we were both struck at how much it reminded us of our lives, in fact if it wasn't made 2 years before my son was born, it would be like watching my sons life.He commented that he wondered if my ex learned his parenting skills from the movie. It was heartbreaking, but we looked up the author on the internet and found that he has done well and is still alive, so that was a relief.

My son knows that I dont allow him the luxury of claiming that coming from a tough background as an excuse to be a fuck up. My grandfather was a abused child. He was the oldest of 7 kids, beaten, starved and treated like a slave by an alcoholic father. He left home at 13 and worked his way from Iowa to Idaho where he worked as a ranch hand until he joined the military underage. He literally starved when he was a kid. He suffered, and he overcame it and achieved much in his life. He was a decorated WW2 veteran Navigator/Bombardier of B-17's and B-24s, Silver and Bronze stars, Pearl Harbor survivor, D-day, Berlin and Black Friday. He was a hero who went on to go to college and graduate and then teach. He never committed a crime, never was a drunk,or drug abuser. He was a good man. So bad backgrounds can be risen above and I remind my son of that on a daily basis. I have also known those that had everything handed to them on a silver platter and were worthless shits that I wouldn't cross the street to piss on if they were on fire. Money doest make class or dignity or morals and a man, so I tell my kids that they need to just work hard and remember who they are, do their best to be good people, and remember things that Honor, Integrity, Dignity , and Pride are things that a person has in them, and that they cannot be bought.

I hope that Jimmy grew up with those things. I like to think that he did. He was a good boy and in my memories he was all those and more, perhaps its best he remain there.