Dear Roger: A Swift Kick In The Ass Is A Good Kick Start, For Most

Dealing with my ex often is frustrating and infuriating.I have to try and keep my temper and my mouth shut because if I piss him off, that ends badly for me, but there are times I just really want to vent and try and figure out what the hell is wrong with him?
I managed to finally get his ass out of here a few days ago and it was like a load was lifted off of us. Our food will last longer as will all out household supplies. He didn't see himself as that big of an expense. He was told that he had to lay low when he was around here because he wasn't supposed to be here and he could get me in trouble with the new landlord. He would wait until just before the office was due to open and then he would leave or go out to smoke or do something outside, as if he was deliberately trying to be seen. Very passive/aggressive with no thought to the fact that if he got me evicted, his kids would be out of a place to live as well.
He wont work an on the books, regular job. He claims no one will hire him because hes an excon convicted of a violent crime,(agg. assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping) against me. But he wont even try. This city caters to the lowest common denominator and they have all kinds of programs for felons and dopers and what not, but he prefers to troll craigslist for whatever.
He seems to have no shame about his choices either. He took the remainder of his silver the other day and he sold it. He bought a little bit of gas and some weed. His reasoning? He needs to the gas to get around,(that is fine, I agree with that), but the weed? He said it helps him relax and not care hes living in his van down by the river.
Never mind the fact his son turns ten in 2 days and he could have bought him some presents. Nope, hes counting on me to handle all that. Just like he had no problem telling me when I offered to buy him an Amtrack ticket to Ventura that if I gave him $200 he could just drive there. Uh...NO! Im not giving him any damn cash.
Here I am supporting all the kids on my own, providing for all their needs and he tells me I could give him $200 to essentially get rid of him.
Im working on filing for full custody. Its just ridiculous that he can show up at my door and say he wants to see the kids, walk into my house and then hang out for 4 hours doing nothing but annoying the hell out of me. Ive been getting all his crap sorted out and stashed outside, hoping he will just show up, pack it up and vanish.
Moving is on hold and while Stevie is disappointed, she realized when he showed up that life was going to be difficult again. She knows he never brings good things. She wants to love him because he is her father, but she sees him for what he is, and that is sad. Stubby is starting to see it and I think that has a lot to do with his issues.
He has such as skewed view of how the world works. He thinks its the woman's job to support the man and take care of everyone and everything because that is all that he has seen and when he is around people who handle it the traditional or balanced way, it upsets him because he realizes his father is not doing his part.
Ive given up trying to change my ex. He never will be changed or fixed. My son and I watch the show "Shameless" and laugh at how much its like out lives and the father is like my ex. He is a good reason to stay single and when people ask me if I feel bad for him living in his van I tell them I don't. I don't get child support. I don't even bother asking for it. He has actually been the one supported. He gets money and he smokes it. He has made poor decisions and he has to live with them. At 54 years old he should be able to handle life better than that. He made his bed, he has to lie in it. I will raise my kids and try to find better examples of how to live and function in life. His own family has refused to help him other than with,"Prayers", and to me, that speaks volumes. I offered to buy him a ticket to Newport News to he could go live with his mom or sister, but he didn't want to go live back there like his brother did,I would rather they see him being a transient than his own kids. Maybe if it gets colder here in many ways, he will finally leave, if not, we may have to find a way to leave ourselves and once again uproot and try to get away from the dead weight of an albatross.