Dear Roger:Monkey Mission...Possible? At Least In Her Eyes It is

"Mom! Mom! Get up!You have to get me some glitter!You promised me you would help me make Jackson his Valentine and I really need to get to work on it or it will be rushed and messy, and I really dont like it when I have to rush!" All this was directed at me Saturday morning,(the one day of the week when I normally get to sleep in and be a lazy slug a bed, but nooo! Not this Saturday. I had her sitting on me, holding on to my chin so she could stare right into my eyes, to let me know the intensity of the issue.
"Mom? Are you listening? Hes been really quiet lately, maybe hes sad? I dont want him to be sad!Come on mom! We have to get the glitter so I can get this done."
The child knows its a month before Valentines day. She also knows I am glitter phobic, as in I really hate the stuff and wont allow it in the house normally because it gets on every damn surface and sticks forever, rendering it sparkly. But, then again, I promised her and she knows, I keep my promised to her and my kids and I will move heaven and earth to see them through. So while I managed to stall her long enough to allow me to get a cup of coffee, I had to help her find where she had put her sketch pads and then I had to listen to her pitch ideas for her grand card until she got distracted by her brother Sticky who wanted his fingernails painted,(dont ask), so she went off to give him a mani/pedi and I was left in peace and glitter free for a few more hours.
She believes I can do anything, and because of her I do try harder. The albatross finally has realized this,"Job" he has been going to is nothing but a scam and he has admitted its a wasted of time.So this leaves me dealing with someone who has no means of support, no resources and nothing to lose. Ugh. Im still proceeding along trying to get moved to the school district that is best for my little girl because I promised her and she reminds me of that. Her brothers want to go with us now so I have had to look for a bigger apartment which means a lot more money, but I have found one and applied for it. If all goes well, I should know in a few days if I got it and if Im going to be able to swing it financially. I know I want out of where I am at.Living where you work is just not any good, and knowing some of the things I know has just made it even more obvious that I need to move my kids out of here.
She believes I can do it and I cant let her down. She has been let down a lot by her father, in fact she doesn't expect anything from men at all, but she damn sure expects me to follow through and that's a lot of pressure at times.
I dont know when the world changed so much that it became okay for men to be seen as weak, losers, and not expected to contribute very much, but that is my daughters perception of things. She sees me as the one who takes care of business and who makes things happen. I am the one who fights the battles and fixes things.She doesn't respect her father at all and it has colored her whole attitude about men. I guess that might be a good thing in the long run, she will never sit around and wait to be rescued by a Prince Charming, hell! shes always worried about rescuing hers right now. Worried hes sad or not eating or getting hurt or whatever, but while that is okay, I am glad she is going to be a strong and tough lil chick who takes care of things, I find it sad that she doesn't believe in a knight in shining armor. I would wish that for her, and I try to point out that my sister has that, even though hes a slightly dented knight, she did eventually get found by one, but my sis still did, so maybe, just maybe, they are still out there, but I dont want her to wait for one.
Shes not going to be distracted away from the glitter for very long. I dread that. My bed was covered in art supplies the other day and she is really preparing for some grand gesture for that boy once again. Shes been wandering around song writing again as well, but I told her no videos this time, my nerves cannot handle it. The one she has out there now is over 18k hits and growing, that makes her very happy for some reason and I think I have a gray hair for each and every view, so I have told her the song will have to be in poem form and she can write it out on her card and I will mail it, but that's it for now. That got me quite a sad face, but she will deal. I have heard rumblings that maybe they will start doing shows again and if they wander up this way, we will be there, she will be front and center and all will be good.