Dear Roger; Being A Good Bad Example May be Paying Off

I have had some time to observe my kids that I have up here with me, and I have come to an interesting conclusion about the pair of them. The main conclusion is that they have paid close attention to what has gone on in my life and they have learned from it.

My son left a love letter he wrote his girlfriend laying on his desk the other day, and being the nosy mom I am, you know I read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,...I KNOW! Its an invasion of his privacy, but I was WORRIED! I cannot afford to be a grand mother right now and he is very wrapped up in this girl he has been dating, but what I read really surprised me, my son is quite the old fashioned romantic! There was not one crude word or sexual innuendo, it was all about how he wanted to be a good man for her and how she inspired him to try to rise above his circumstances and try harder, because he wanted to give her the world. He compared her to the beauty of the stars and it just went on from there. I have never had anyone write me a letter like that! He called her,"Princess" told her she was perfect and that they should,'Take things slow so that they didn't make mistakes." I had to sit the hell down. The boy wants to wait, he honestly meant what he told me! Hell YEAH! Score one for the mom getting through to him!!

We had a long talk the other night about condoms and safe sex and all the risks, and how having a kid changes everything. He actually knew quite a bit and we had a very calm and engaging talk. He has plans for college and his, "Rockstar/actor" career, but he also has a back up plan for college and a trade that will pay for college. He wants to be and apprentice machinist and learn how to make things out of metal because he knows that is a reliable trade that requires a brain and that will pay the bills in the lean times. He is even planning on going union so he will have health insurance! Holy hell...he has paid attention to things.

Sometimes he does worry me because he does pay attention to some of the lesser desirable male role models, and he mimics their behavior, such as Gerard Butlers characters from his movies, or even NPH's character of Barney that my son considers to be a,"genius". I know he emulates young Rathbone quite a bit though, and that is interesting. At least he is dressing better, working harder on keeping his direction and keeping up his grooming and being more respectful, those I consider all pluses, but the backlash of all of this positive male influence is that girls are really noticing him now and its getting insane for him at times. He is getting notes shoves in his backpack, girls coming up to him and wanting his number and then getting angry when he says hes ,"Involved", he s been groped and accused of being gay,and generally stalked by a group of girls. I told him to stop wearing the nice clothes and go back to being a slouch for a bit, but he tells me that he,"has an image to uphold". Lock up your daughters, mothers, wives, sisters, brothers, whatever because Houston, we may have a problem.

Lil sis is really kinda funny. She has interesting taste in fellas to say the least. When I was her age, I idolized John Wayne. He was my hero and I had a picture of him on my wall. I watched all his movies and I knew everything about him. I loved him heart and soul. He was a rough and tough manly man that kicked ass and took names and influenced my entire life. Outside of you and Granpa, he was the major male influence in my life. Lil sis feels this way about young Mr. Rathbone, very much so. She also tends to like Chris Cofer and NPH. I noticed a trend in the fellas she tends to be really fond of, in fact her best buddy at school is a little boy that hangs out with the girls and likes pink as his favorite color and is just a delicate kinda kid. My lil girl tends to prefer the fellas that are..."Non-threatening?" I think that is a good thing. She was born into a house that had the type of , "Alpha Male/Biker Badass" man and all she ever saw was meanness and terrorism. Those boys dont scare her and that is a good thing. I dont blame her. She is a tough little critter on her own, and I see her as the type to be like me and to be telling some fool when she is older, "Hold my holster" like I did , as she goes out to take care of business.

Its Spring Break around here, and thanks to the ex being a bonehead as usual, my account is so far screwed up and overdrawn it will take most of next months income to fix it. I wish I could kick him off the account, but chase doesn't make it easy and as long as he has my boys, I have to leave him a way to get to some funds.I can only hope he gets it fixed in the next few weeks,though knowing him it will be weeks and weeks.