Dear Roger, Say What?

You know, I hate it when my parents are right about shit. You never really nagged me about how loud I listened to my music, because after being in your car with you a few times, I knew that not only did I come by my roadrage tendency honestly, I also realized that my need to not only hear but to feel the music probably came from you.I love my music so damn loud that I feel the vibration of it through my soul, and that has probably cost me just a little.From the mustang with the 12 speakers and the 1200 watt amp in the trunk that was heard before it was seen, to the Ozzy concert in '86 in Shreveport where I was stationed in front of that enormous stack of speakers that gave me the BEST show of my life but left me functionally deaf for over a week, to the years in ambulances and squad cars and on firing ranges with no or inadequate hearing protection, I have totally jacked up my damn hearing. It really stinks getting older, I mean not only do I have to deal with things trying to migrate to the Southern hemisphere, and errant grey hairs that pop up in the damndest places, but now my eyes bug me and I have realized that I often think that people mumble! I dont often admit I am getting older, and I really try not to act my age, after all, I enjoy many of the things that my kids enjoy and that helps to keep me young, but all the crap I did to my body when I was younger and convinced I was going to die before I was 30, has really come back to kick me in the ass. I have had a shoulder re-build, bone spurs removed out of my neck and shoulder, work done on my lower spine and facet injections in my spine and neck to keep the pain at a dull roar, and I need to have my left knee rebuilt and my right wrist and God knows what else, but I figure considering the motorcycle wrecks, the brawls, and all the mess I got into as a firefighter, its probably a small price to pay, but my hearing going is really bugging me and the damn tinnitus is maddening. I love my music, and I have gotten rid of vehicles that had cruddy sound systems just because I could not deal with not being able to listen to my tunes, its as important to me as reading and writing and I guess breathing. My kids are almost as bad, and if they are being punks in the morning or on the way home all I have to do is tell them,"NO MUSIC" and they straighten right the hell up. We even sing along. I hope to be able to take my oldest to his first concert pretty soon, and even though I may not hear it as well,I know I will feel it. I wish I had taken him to the Rob Zombie concert that we had up here a couple of years ago, I know we would have been down in the pit and I would have been waay more jacked up than I was once it was all over, but we would have had such a blast.
I am supposed to wear glasses nowadays, but let me tell you, wearing trifocals is a huge pain in the ass and half the damn time I feel like I am a little drunk due to the constant shifting between near/far and further away and its really disconcerting to try and look at someone through them, and frankly they make me look like a bit of a dork. When I wear one of my hats to keep the sun from blasting me, I look like some East German refugee, slumming around the Rez land on the prowl for some touristy action, so I dont wear them as much as I should. I still read waay more than normal people, and last month I probably put away over 40 books, and quite a few of a new genre called Fan Fiction which is a type of story that is based off of popular characters in a current series that other authors poach and then set in new stories, its not quite plagarism, but it comes pretty damn close in some cases, and it probably could not exist without the internet. I have learned some interesting things and new lingo while reading "fan Fiction" and some of it leaves me shaking my head, like a "Lemon" is a sex scene, a "Unicorn" is an orgasm, Slash is basically same sex, sex scenes and let me tell you Rog, those are often like bad car accidents, you dont want to look,but you cannot help yourself and afterwards you just feel kinda dirty and I dont think I will ever look at the Cullen boys the same again, but mostly what I read are original ideas and thats also what I am writing, so I feel clean, but its hard to find the time and space to get pen to paper this week, and I dont write my novel on the computer, Im a dinosaur when it comes to that, and its just how I roll. My muse has been in my mind, and I am aching to get some more of him out, but the kids are chomping at the bit for the end of the school year and they are not wanting to sleep or stop fighting or flush the tolites or leave the dogs alone or you name it.
Twittering is still a learning experience, I have found the most amazing people on there and I find it addicting and also therapeutic,I mean, I go for hours with no one to talk to, and Fergus is really tired of my talking to him, and when he tries to answer we both end up frustrated and drooled upon, so being able to get my random shit just thrown out into the universe where someone may or may not give a damn about it, is kinda fun. Its like Russian roulette without the potential committment.
The damn wind is blowing again and once again I totally screwed a chance to ask JR out. I suck, im a coward and I am never going to get any at this rate. On the bright side, I decided to give the Size 0 Oakely jeans to this nice gal that works at the store who is always kinda broke, shes young enough to not look ridiculous wearing them and I keep the potential embareASSment for my kids to a minimum.