Dear Roger, Things That I Shouldnt Do Anymore

Ohhh Roger, Around 10 years ago I swore off hard liquor, and I thought it was for a good reason,mainly because I really liked to do too many things that started with an,"F" when I was drunk, foremost amongst them was fighting,and since I am a small person and many of those I tried to fight with were quite large, I decided that constantly picking fights under with influence of intoxicants was probably not a good way to continue. Also, I had suffered a rather serious encounter with acute alcohol poisining, and I had gone from someone who could handle 11 Alabama Slammers, to a 2 beer drunk, and there was just no fun in any of that, so I had written off the indulgence of slopping around with other lushes, not to mention the fact that it plays hell with someone who has Celiacs disease, being that I dont have the normal lining of my gut to handle the absorbition rate, so I get trashed almost as fast as I drink the stuff, and then you factor in the other meds I take and I am a walking visit to the E.D. waiting to happen, but I figured, Hell, I have been bound up, tied up and wallowing in misery for all this time, im going out of town where I will be away from everyone who knows me, my kids and all responsibility, lets cut loose just a little bit. I indulged, just a little, some wine, a couple of Long Island Iced Teas, and so on, and I unleashed a beast that probably had been chomping at the insides of me for a long, long time.
I wont say I didnt have fun.I loved cutting loose and acting in a bit of a shameless manner. I flirted with younger men and probably made a bit of an ass of myself, but I had a blast doing it. I killed some pain, rode around in a car way nicer than anything I can afford, stayed in a resort suite that costs more than anything I could ever afford, and I ate a $27.00 steak! Thats all a big fucking deal to me because all the last 10 years to me have been about deprivation and doing without and nobody giving a damn about me wanting to have fun.Nobody knew who the hell I was, but they knew I was pretty damn funny and I made people laugh, including myself. I slept in a fancy ass bed, and I hung out with a Hopi chic that gave me alternating Indian names depending on what the heck was going on in the day, and she thought it was funny as hell how I nailed the Hopi accent, and it was nice to be able to talk to her and hang out as just two friends who related on many levels without all the bull shit of worrying about offending each other over our differences. Her youngest son and my oldest son have the same name, and we both found that to be pretty cool, and we have the same struggles with being imperfect people trying to be perfect parents, and we became friends with plans for her to come to the Celtic Fest with me this year where I am going to see about her becoming an honorary member of my clan, and shes gonna teach me how to make Pikki bread and thats worth more than freaking gold.
The alcohol fueled foolishness was self-indulgent, and self-abusive, but it was also a good reminder of why I dont do it, because I was pretty freaking sick after I did it, but not hung over, I was just sick as in pain. I do like the flavor of Long Island Iced Teas, but they lead to some fuckery that I am not sure the breadth of at this point, but my friends called it a,'Mind fuck intervention", though considering that they are both a little on the "She-woman man hater persuasion", I am not sure that was a good thing. I was poured into my bed, my cell phone locked away in the room safe, and I was told it was "for my own good", and I really hope it was, but at this point I have a headache, a gut ache and a vague feeling of unease.