Dear Roger,My Kids Sell Me Out At Every Chance They Get, and Im Still Expected To Feed Them?

Well Rog, this week is off with a bang, it finally stopped snowing and it was weirdly sunny and warm as only it can be in Arizona, so I got to enjoy being outside running errands, though I was dressed for colder weather. I made the kids dress up today and though they grumbled about being made to wear khaki pants with button down shirts and their black vests and converse shoes, the cuteness factor was off the scale, and amazingly, the Stinky Princess decided to wear jeans today,(I thought surely Hell had frozen over), but she was in full battle girl mode so I let her pick out her clothes and she opted for jeans and a pink shirt instead of her typical princess Barbie style dress.
We had a decent weekend, even though we had to spend most of it trapped indoors due to the snow and wind so we played video games and watched movies and I read and set up the sure sign of the end of days, a Twitter account. siiiiiggggghhhh....I had SWORN I was not going to do it, I made fun of all the self important "Twats" as I called them that had accounts,drabbling on about every little thing they did during the day, I harassed my son about his account, teasing him and asking him if he was going to tweet each time he farted during the day and cause the site to crash or if he was going to follow every vapid hollyweird twat out there,but ohhh how the mighty have fallen! I have been bored and lonely and I blame the MONKEYS!!Those darn 100 Monkeys and their tour, that was what broke me and I caved, so I went to the sight and I signed up and then I got curious,(I only took one drag on the cig...honest), and the next thing you know I got all these suggestions for people to follow so I thought, 'What the hell,hes cute, hes funny, hes British,(you KNOW I love the Brits) and then art and publishing and all kinds of stuff popped up" and then I realized that I could just say all kinds of random crap that pops into my head during the worst of my insomnia or solitude and I could put it out there for whomever to read and either laugh at or go,"DAMN! shes whacked!" Its been kinda fun and its a little addicting, and now I have it on my cell phone.
My kids are not like typical kids, they have been through quite a bit of horror in their short lives, and their lives are not typical happy Teletubbie lives, so when they sit and watch movies with me, I tend to let them decide what freaks them out or disturbs them to the point of wanting to leave or being scared, after all, not many 6 year olds have seen their mom have her ass kicked by their dad and then a straight razor taken to her in front of them, so vampires and werewolves and ghosts dont usually phase them, but my daughter decided that after watching movies like,"Pans Labrynith"(freaked me out a little) and 'The Messengers",(also pretty intense), she decided that the Underworld movies freaked her the hell out! What the hell? Those are mine and the boys favorite creature features and we were enjoying them at ear bleed level on our new discs, when all of the sudden she looks at me and says,"I dont like that naked,scary wolf guy!!" and jets from the room.What the hell?? So all action stops and we freeze the movie, and we all have a sit down and discussion about real vs fake and actors and play acting and all that and she was cool about after she realized he is in fact someones daddy and all that, and just a British actor who even does voices for Tinkerbell movies, and plays Aro,(again freaking her out), but I guess we all have just those certain actors that either make us shudder or twitch in just the right way, and Christopher Walken has always creeped me out and I adore him for it, and maybe she will grow up to appreciate this guy for his ability to inspire some kind of adrenaline response in her, I hope so, because the man is the face of my muse and its kinda funny that it inspires a response in her, becasue in me it just make me want ot WRITE! She dimed me off though Rog, she freaking told her teacher for class news today that this weekend we watched the Underworld movies and,"The scary naked wearwolf guy creeped me out", and now her teacher thinks I am some kinda terrible mom for letting her watch naked dudes. Its bad enough that Sticky and Stubby walk around singing 'Reaper" or the "Monkey SOng" which Stubby has totally memorized and even has formulated a dance to go with, but now they are letting people know that we watch inappropriate movies.
I really do try to shield them from some of the gnarly stuff out there, I dont listen to rap, I dont smoke or drink around them and I dont have any kind of social life, in fact I havent been laid for close to 2 years and let me tell you there are days.I keep my personal equipment out of reach,sight and mind, and I dont even really have any ,'Personal" time so that doesnt even occur so when the ex starts making fun of me for pointing out Alexander Skarsgaard a little too happily, I being ironic when I said that if, I did in fact have an "O" in the near future, he would most likely figure prominantly in it happening.Duracell thy name is friend. Yup Rog, its come to that,so to speak, one truly is the lonliest number, but I am working on a solution, I am going to be loose on campus very soon and I have plans.I dated a younger man a while back and I enjoyed it, and a 25 year old asked me for my number a short time ago, and if he had a job, he would have gotten it, but since I was not looking for another child to raise and support, but there are plenty of young men on campus and I have to think that its like throwing a handful of darts at a board, somethings gotta stick, or at least be fun to chase around for a little while, I saw the cutest German boy today...