I was an extra for a tv show this week! It was pretty damn fun and it involved a little bit of acting, and even making some noise and talking, so I guess I wasn't just window dressing. I had a blast and though I got paid, I would have done it for free. I got to hang out with a bunch of adults, talk about fun things that I am interested in, watch a comedian I find really funny do his thing and just hang out. It was like being on a playground with the cool kids and I was one of the cool kids for the day. Another casting director wanted my information for some shows she casts, and if it leads into other opportunities that will be awesome, but if that was it for my foray into acting, so be it. I had fun, but it would be hard for me to enforce my,"College and then a REAL job" policy for my kids if their own mom is running around doing play acting.
Son and I have been butting heads pretty hard lately. He has been a full on jerk at times and I have reached the point where I just take things away and tell him to walk away from me. The day I went and got the couch and furniture, he had been so damn hateful to me, I took the hotspot with me so he didnt have internet access except on his phone, but he used that to post hateful comments about me on Facebook. My ex husband called me to tell me I was being trashed online and to ask me what the hell I had done this time. In spite of all of his faults, he is good about giving me a heads up when son is on a rampage like that. It eventually blew over, but I am weary of it. He is so damn spoiled and I know I have only myself to blame. He suffers from 1st Texas son syndrome. I am a Texan. He is my 1st born son. It was just me and him for a long time and I turned him into a little prince. He has always been over-indulged in that way. I love my other children just as much, but he had me to himself for a long time, and he was spoiled and it has carried on. I know quite a few Texas sons, and those that are onlys or eldests, tend to be the worst spoiled, but its just something us Texas mothers tend to do and its hard to undo.With school starting back soon and his brothers coming up here soon,(hopefully), we will have some time apart and less time to focus on each others annoying habits and maybe the bickering with ease up. I can only hope.
My friend from out of state that was going to go to the 100 Monkeys concert with me is not going to be able to make it, so I am going to end up taking a friend of sons, another teen boy. I would pretty much rather take a boot to the head that deal with Beavis and Butthead at the concert, but I hate the thought of wasting the tickets and son insists he "Really wants to go". I rue the day he realized that there are lots of girls at the concerts, though I still tease him mercilessly about his lil crush on Jackson Rathbone due to the Criminal Minds episode. I thought about printing off a picture from the episode and taping it to his door, but I do value my computer and I fear it would suffer violence at his hands, either that, or he would keep the picture and frame it, just to traumatize me and his sister. He is such a contrary lately that there is no telling.
This next Sunday is the concert and I am both excited and apprehensive. Daughter was a little disturbed to find that it was on a Sunday and that she was going to miss church in because we were going to be wandering around town and going to the Best Buy thing. She is very much a church girl, but coordinating meeting up with the folks she rides to church with and our transportation to the concert would be a huge hassle, so I just told her no church. She was not happy, but when I gave her the choice of church or concert, she chose concert. She has been super excited and wound up this week Her monkeys have been drug all over and she has informed me that she is taking Jackson with her again. Her father made a comment last night that he wanted to see the end of that,"Little obsession" and that comment pissed me off.
She is 7 years old. She has been through the wringer in her young life and has done nothing but succeed and overcome all of it. She witnessed much of the abuse, she has been separated from her brothers and her pets and she lost Fergus too. She is growing up without the normal things most little girls have and she hasn't complained. So what is she loves a funky little rock star and so what if she carries around a ratty little monkey she named after him? Its her comfort and the one stable thing in her life. She no longer asks to take it to school or church, and I can convince her to leave him at home on occasion, but if my ex thinks he is going to come up here and try and usurp everything we have established and destroy her happiness in some half-assed bid to try and become a semi-decent father figure, he has another thing coming. He let her down time and time again. She has replaced him and she is happy.
He says he is coming up here. He got a foreclosure notice on the house and he has until October to get it figured out. He is selling off things, including my things, to raise money and he is talking about coming to Portland to at least get my boys to me. All I can hope for is that I can get my boys and get them in a stable setting and let them know that its only going to get better now that we are together. I just have to hope that once I have my boys, he will find someplace else to be.
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