Dear Roger; Virtual Pasture Parties

I think I have decided to actually try and go to my 25th high school reunion. It will coincide with me turning 43 and a decent time of year in Texas, so going back home for a bit might actually be a good thing. If I have a car by then, I will drive, if I dont, I will fly into Dallas and then drive on home and maybe visit some folks in the outlying areas. I have close to a year to prepare myself for it, so I will figure it out by then. I do actually miss some folks back there. Some are kinda surprising, a gal I hardly ever spoke to in school because she was one to the 'Preps" has turned out to be someone I kinda enjoy chatting with, and there are people I played baseball with as well as just hung out with that I have discovered I do kinda miss. I also want to go pay respects to those who have passed and I want to see my sis.

My hometown folk have started a Facebook page and people get on there and just talk about all kinds of things. Some nights its like sitting around the tailgate of a pickup truck talking. All that is missing is the sound of whip o wills and tepid beer. I love reading the postings and catching up with people. Some of it is heartbreaking though, as I have found that some people I knew have passed on, in fact way more than I expected.

I do miss Texas and many of the folks back there. Its been hotter than hell back there though, and I wouldn't like that, but its going to be in April so I guess it will be tolerable.

Going back to see them will be fun. No pretense on my part, I am who I am. Yeah, I am,'Deeply and creatively weird", my private life looks like a train wreck and I am constantly broke, but I am a minorly published author, I am breaking into acting and you know what? I am a survivor and I am happy and comfortable with myself. I have no one I care about impressing. That is such a cool feeling. I dont care what anyone thinks about me. I lived most of my life with my own parents thinking I was gay or on drugs or just a huge disappointment to them, and in February, when I decided that I was done with them, I felt free. I am just me now. I write fic, I have some silver in my hair and wrinkles and I can burp like a truck driver. I perv after younger men but couldn't get laid if I fell out of a chickens ass, but I am happy. That is the way to be. I will be taking that with me when I go back and I think I will be a better person to know.

Writing is going pretty good. The hits on my stories are insane and I guess I should keep at it. Its a good feeling.