Dear Roger:Priorities

I am not one to just sit back and let things happen. The minute my ex said I could have my sons back, I started working on the,"How" of getting them up here. I may be a, "Micro-managing bitch" as he has called me, but I do not like to leave anything to happenstance. I am also not good at asking for help. If not for my friends, I would not be trying to get people to help me, and I would be selling everything I own in order to raise the money to get there. I still have a contingency plan to do that. I asked my ex to photograph my Keen Cutter advertising print and even though I love it, I will sell it to raise the money.

My sis tells me my parents were only interested in getting my things from my house before my ex loses it. That is not happening. I will have my things put into storage and shipped to me slowly before I allow them to be taken back to Texas to be peed on by animals or thrown in a garage and forgotten, or given to my mothers,'adopted" daughter in Arizona. That just made me angry, and I wish my sis hadn't told them anything. My friends will help me get my things, and they will make sure they get where they need to be. My children are the primary concern.

I finally overloaded on stress a bit yesterday and took a bit of an unexpected nap in the floor for a few hours. I just remember feeling really weary and dizzy and the next thing I know I was looking at my boss who was asking me if it was okay if she wrote that I was an ex-cop in the complex newsletter. Son tells me I laid in the floor, deeply asleep for around 3 hours. He said he wasn't worried because I was breathing and occasionally muttering in my sleep. Its good to know the boy doesn't freak out about his mother laying unconscious in the floor! I think it was just because I hadn't eaten properly for a couple of days, I was worn out, stressed out and I just needed to shut down for a bit. I felt like I had a hangover afterwards, and I ended up going to bed early last night.

My daughter is really excited that her brothers are going to be here. She has been buzzing around, talking about tea parties and going to the park and all kinds of fun that she can have with them. She has missed her brother Conner the most. Because of the Downs Syndrome, he is closest to her in size and he is always willing to play with her without being unhappy about getting dressed up or being told hes now a monkey or a puppy or something. The often had very cute and creative games that they played. Getting Conner here sooner than later will put my mind at ease, I know he will need a good medical check up and probably a lot of dental work. His father has been supposed to take him for weeks and hasn't had the time, so I will get that done. He will have to have a 1:1 aide for school and the bus, both boys are going to have to have clothes and shoes and school supplies because he told me yesterday that they have nothing. Im going to be broke financially forever, but for the first time in over a year, I am going to be the richest woman alive, my boys are coming HOME.