Dear Roger: Preparations, Conversations

It has been pretty much the week from hell. The stress alone has had me napping in the floor more than once, so I think I am ready for it to be at an end. Between my paychecks, and my cousins help, I have gotten enough money that allowed me to book a flight to Phoenix and I will be leaving on Wednesday. I hope to Amtrak it back out of there on Saturday, which would be the cheapest departure date for the three of us, at 514, with no real issues. That would put us getting back into Portland on Monday. A looong trip, but bearable. The stress of trying to come up with the money, trying to figure out what to do, dealing with phone calls from the ex where he is telling me about the flooding that is going on due to the monsoons and fire damage as well as all the drama that is going on back there, its been enough that when son kept pushing me about playing chauffeur to him and his girlfriend on a weekend when I was already dealing with the looming 100 Monkeys concert and and hysteria from the youngest daughter, I snapped and told him off.

We dont own a car. We cant afford a car. He wanted me to borrow a car from our friend, then drive to Vancouver and pick up his girlfriend, bring her to Portland and drive them to a restaurant for dinner. He also wanted me to pay for all of this. I have to wonder what part of scraping together every single dime to get his brothers, he doesn't understand? I realize he is a teen with teen issues and teen brain capacity, but that was just ridiculous. He was nagging and being hateful and even trying to bully me about it and I just snapped and unloaded on him. I called him selfish and accused him of not wanting his brothers because they would take away from him. It was ugly. After a little bit we both just sat a opposite ends of the couch and were quiet for a while and then after my blood pressure went down, we talked.

I explained to him that he needed to realize that I do not have to explain everything I do. My motivations and decisions are not his to question and that its not my job to finance or facilitate his love life. I dont have a love life mainly because I dont have time for it and I cannot afford it. I told him that if he wants to have an easier dating life, he needs to find a girl who lives in the same zip code. Hes a good kid, but like a typical teen, he is selfish and egotistical. I try to work with that, but there are days it gets frustrating. I know I have it pretty easy though. My friends son is a defiant problem child. He is confrontational, threatening , calls his mother,"Stupid" sneaks out and runs off, openly flaunts their rules and faces no real repercussions for his behavior. They are failing that kid soo badly it breaks my heart. I see a dark road ahead for that kid, and I suspect things about him that are probably going to lead to a serious schism within that very conservative Christian family, and I only hope it doesn't lead to his self-destruction. I have tried to be a peaceful middle-ground for them, and to let him know that I will listen to his respectful comments, and I have often offered a calm, safe place to come and talk while everyone settles down, but things are getting worse and they seem to not know what to do about it. My son and him have been best friends since they were 6, and my son tells me that he is worried as well, but all he can do is tell his friend that he is there for him no matter what and that he will listen, but they are drifting apart and that is sad to see.

My son and I were talking last night and he did tell me that as crazy as our lives are, and as difficult and as strained as things can get, he knows that I love him no matter who he is and that has always been something he has been happy to know, because he knows his friend doesn't have that luxury.

Today is going to be a crazy day. Its get the kids up, get out the door by 730 and to the train, ride to Lloyd center to meet our friend at the hotel, then off to where the Pre-show is going to be. We get to hike about a mile, which is less than we had to hike last year, but still a bit of a bummer. After the pre-show is over then we head back towards downtown to wander around until the show at 7 tonight. After the show, depending on when its over, we have to figure out how to get home. If the max is still running its that, if its too late, its a cab with a amped up 7 y/o. I hope she gets another picture with young Jackson Rathbone again, she adores him soo damn much I know she will be crushed if she doesn't, but I have tried to prepare her. They are getting more popular and its probably going to be a bigger show with more chaos, so its going to have lost a lot of its intimacy and charm. The VooDoo days are long gone. Most of my friends from that concert aren't even going to make it up for the show, so nothing is going to be the same, and that's a little sad.I know things have to change, I just wish it wasn't so much so fast.