About Me

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Portland, Oregon, United States
Middle aged crazy, a little on the broken side,been to hell and back and still make side trips into Purgatory to indulge the masochistic side of my personality. I'm Texan,Southern,Over-educated,arrogant, temperamental,oversexed but under-indulged.Chasing after younger men and the happiness that has eluded me for most of my life.Music and literature are my passions.Finally living the dream in my idea of Heaven.

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Dear Roger: Parental Revenge? Or Whats So Damn Funny?

My son is an,"Interesting" kid. I have said before he is a bit of a smart-ass and a he vacillitates between this weird ambisexterous masculinity that seems to delight in trying to stress me out, worrying that maybe he is taking a walk on the,'Wild side", so worrying me that he is wrapped up in this ,"Girlfriend" of his a little to much. He has some strange ideas about who and what I should be interested in, and he often tries to be just a bit on the bossy side, and even more irritating, he seems to have a bit of a problem with authority, meaning mine. Getting him to listen is often an exercise in using my best reverse psychology. If I tell him to do something directly, quite often he will do the exact opposite. Tell him to clean up his room, he seems to make it messier. Suggest he stick with practicing one song in his guitar? He practices parts of 11 or 12 of them as part of one song. I actually heard him play something that started off as "Wish you were here" that then morphed into "Smoke On the Water" and into "Beautiful More So" and then "I Got A Reason" with "What Its Like" and God knows what else thrown in. I think he did it to try and drive me crazy.
He managed to lose his Ipod, and that lead to a bit of a disagreement over the reason for why it got lost. Yeah, I probably sounded like my parents, but jeesh! They boy has no organization at all! His room looks like he walks in and flings any transient garbage he happens to pick up on the way home. His schoolwork is all over the place, dirty clothes all over and frankly...it smells. He threw a bit of a hissy fit because he couldn't find his iPod before church,(shouldn't have it in church anyway),and I told him I would look for it while he was gone. He wanted to take my ipod, and maybe I should be flattered that he thinks my taste in music is good enough that he would deign to to such a thing, but frankly, my ipod cost a lot more than his, its older and I could never replace it now, so I said no. He thew a baby fit, but he left it and stomped on out the door muttering about how,"Mean" I was and "greedy" and I am sure all kinds of other unkind comments. I searched his room when he was gone,(gag!) and even though I used to be able to find all kinds drugs and stuff that people never wanted me to find when I was a cop,(being able to think like a criminal made me really good at finding all the secret hidey holes for all kinds of stuff, plus 70%of my friends growing up were into some kind of fuckery so I learned where to hide weed and stuff in cars, which made it great for me as a cop when it came to ferreting it out. But thus I digress, I searched his room and the rest of the apartment, old school style. I found a few dollars I didn't know we had, a bunch of my movies that he was totally messing up by having them out of their cases even though he had promised he was going to put them away, some really gross underwear and socks, and his missing house key, but no ipod. He was pretty bummed out when he got home and wanted to borrow mine. I was going to decline and he knows there are things that he does that gross me out. That weird thumb thing he does, threatening to flip his eyelids inside out, just general gnarly freakishness that makes my stomach kinda flip flop...yeah, well he did that thumb thing, walking toward me. I thought about starting to discuss sex or,"Hot guys" which usually works as a repellent against him, but my teeth hurt so damn bad I just didn't have any fight in me.
He wont listen when I tell him that he needs to get organized and put his stuff in places where he can actually find it. He argues with his English teacher, and consequently, he is flunking English! How the hell does a kid with test scores OFF THE CHARTS! flunk his native language? Ill tell you how, he decides to go,"On strike" and not do the work. Jeebus! He is doing great in French, just took a state aptitude test to see where he is at in science because apparently he is annoying his science teacher with being a bit of a,'Know it all" and he is going to get bumped up a year ahead and put into chemistry a year early!I suggested he take advanced math, meaning calculus, next year to compliment it, and of course he acted as if I suggested that he cut his balls off and said,"Jeeze mom! Should I have no social life?" uhh, yeah? Hes a teen, of course I dont want him to have a social life. He is planning on taking choir and theater and French again as well as running track, so maybe he will quit football? I am afraid to say anything about it because the only way to ensure he will play is to act like I dont want him to...I think? My mother called in the midst of one of mine and my sons infamous bickering matches about what a ,"Hardass" I am about things and,"How he refuses to listen". I told my mom that he seemed to have a real problem with authority and it worried me.
Rog, she fucking laughed at me. Not a little either, she guffawed. I mean she full on busted out, had to have been rolling on the floor, gasping until she was choking, laughed at me. Then she hung up on me. I do not get what was so damn funny? Yeah, I may have had a bit of an attitude growing up, but really? Was that called for?

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