About Me

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Portland, Oregon, United States
Middle aged crazy, a little on the broken side,been to hell and back and still make side trips into Purgatory to indulge the masochistic side of my personality. I'm Texan,Southern,Over-educated,arrogant, temperamental,oversexed but under-indulged.Chasing after younger men and the happiness that has eluded me for most of my life.Music and literature are my passions.Finally living the dream in my idea of Heaven.

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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dear Roger; Thinking About A Boy

Ive been writing on a new series of stories. I went ahead and "Fic'd" them, meaning that I gave them names of characters from the Twi series to get the stories some visibility, but they are based on me and my best friend from when I was a kid. He made my life bearable and I miss him constantly.

I plan to publish about one new story a month.

These stories are dedicated to the friends we make that leave a mark on our soul.

The Face In The Rearview Mirror

Shh! "If you don't shut up they are gonna hear you, stupid head and that's gonna ruin it, now be quiet til we are a little closer!" I swear, trying to sneak up on anything with him was pretty near impossible. He may be a boy, but sometimes he could be a chickenhearted boy, and not very much like Wild Bill at all, even though he always insisted he had to be Wild Bill and I had to be Calamity Jane because he was a boy and I was a girl, didn't matter that I was a better and a faster shot than him, or that I could wrassle him down and make him cry uncle by giving him Indian burns and noogies, nah…he was a boy and had curly hair like my hero so he insisted that he got to be him and I thought that sucked. We belly crawled forward a little further, keeping watchful eyes for fire ant mounds and snakes, as well as sign that we had been spotted by our quarry, the bag of pear-apples shifted and I decided that now was as good a time as any for a snack. 'Hey, dumbass! I tossed one at his head, smacking him in the back of his curls and earning a glare from him as he picked it up and threatened to throw it back at me. "Uhhh uhhh! I shook the bag at him, reminding him that I was vastly better armed than him, and considering that I had been found to have an 88mph pitch this past baseball season, he knew not to mess with me, because best friend or not, I would mess his butt up. We laid there in the deep grass for a few minutes, enjoying our pear-apple break, every now and then peering over the top of the grass to make sure our quarry had not moved further down the pasture out of reach.

" So, school starts next week, do you know who you have yet?" I didn't, my mom was not the most on the ball when it came to finding out things like that and in all likelihood I wouldn't have any idea who I had until I actually walked into the classrooms. " Nah, we haven't even gotten my school supplies or clothes yet. Mom took Rose last week to get her stuff but I have to wait until dads next paycheck, so she hasn't even gone by the school. I wasn't my parents priority, I knew it, Jasper knew it, and pretty much anyone who looked at me and my sister together, knew it. My sis always had the latest in fashion, the nicest of pretty much everything, and I got the leftovers, and I was the afterthought, the accident, even though I was the oldest. I tried to pretend that it didn't bother me, but it really did and Jasper knew it, his way of helping me to deal though was to throw the core from his apple-pear at my head and say, "They are on the move! Come on, we gotta step it up or they are gonna get away again," We belly crawled faster, towards our quarry, and reaching within the agreed upon distance, Jasper and I both rose to a low crouch and eased into a position so that we were able to separate two of our quarry from the rest. We raised up to standing and taking an apple-pear out of my bag I slowly began approaching my target, clucking softly and talking in what I hoped was a calm and soothing voice. The muzzle reached out and lipped the fruit off my outstretched palm, and I beamed in pride. Victory was all but assured! I reached out slowly to pat his nose and slowly reached into my bag to pull out another fruit for him. I could see that Jasper was having similar luck, we were gonna ride today! As I started to ease the bridle off my shoulder, I heard the truck approaching on the highway. Jaspers eyes met mine, surely not? We were soo close to victory! Surely with our quarry within our reach, we were not gonna have it yanked away right at the last minute? Dammit! It was.

"Hey! You damn kids get outta there!" Shit! It was Sammy and we were busted, caught dead to rights in his pasture with his prize stud horse and mares. I looked at Jasper, and breathed the one word I knew he was waiting to hear," RUN!" We didn't move suddenly until we had cleared the horses, but once we were out of the middle of them, we hauled ass like the devil himself was on our heels, and maybe he was. Sammy was known to have a bit of a temper and he carried a bullwhip in is truck, so rather than run the risk of getting a much deserved beating for getting caught riding his horses, we just ran like hell and hoped he wouldn't remember who the hell we were. We tore through the scrub oak and the briar bushes, jumping the old, broken down barbed wire fence that separated our place from the vast expanse that was the Cullen place. We ran until we reached the giant old oak with the grave underneath it, and then we climbed up and sat on our favorite branch, laughing at the craziness of our risk. "Your momma is gonna beat your ass if he goes and gripes at her" Jasper stopped laughing a minute, worry shadowing his face as he spoke. "Ahh, don't worry about it, she spends so much time in her room nowadays that she wont even bother to do anything." I tried to reassure him, but even I was a little worried. My mom was prone to explosions that he had witnessed on more than a few occasions and I had the scars to prove it.

Jaspers life was a pretty good one even though he didn't have a daddy. Considering the type of daddy I had, I figured no daddy might actually be a blessing. His mom worked at the hospital as a nurse in the emergency room, and though she could be kinda strict sometimes, she always made sure Jasper had food and clean clothes and that the house they rented was clean. My folks actually owned our house and my dad worked for the mine, supposedly a really good job that made my sister Rose all kids of stuck up, but we didn't have any of that kind of stuff. Our house was always nasty, with piles of laundry all over the place, dishes just stacked in the sink or on the counter and even the floor, and my moms animals just went wherever they felt like it. I knew I often smelled like cat pee or cigarette smoke, and I knew how to fetch a beer for my dad as soon as I was walking. Saying stuff about it just pissed my mom off and got me a slap, so I just learned to keep my mouth shut and stay our of the house as much as possible. Rose was often at friends houses, even though her room was the nicest in the house. My dad worked 12 hour shifts, and when he was home, he drank and smoked until he went to bed. I don't think we had spoken more than 10 words to each other in the past 3 years. My summers had been misery until Jasper had moved into the rent house down the road, and I knew he was going to be my best friend the moment we had met, even though the first words out of his mouth were, "Why don't you have a shirt on?"

Summer in deep East Texas is like living in a sauna. it's a kinda hot that gets amplified by the sound of cicadas and the way that the sticker burrs cling to your legs as you run through the pastures. The smell of bois d'arc trees and honey suckle hung heavy in the air and I loved to wander up the right of way picking the ripened buckeyes so I would have something to chunk at the old bull when I needed to cut through the small pasture he hung out in so I could get to my favorite fishing hole. I was walking up the old game trail, thinking about heading over to where the ruins of the old slave cabins were, to see if I could find anymore treasures laying around when I heard the sound of something moving up the trail towards me. We had put up with a roaming pack of wild dogs killing stock all summer, and not knowing if it was them or a stranger, I decided to make myself scarce by shimmying up a tree. I managed to get up the closest one and I stood on the branch, close to the trunk, waiting to see what was coming. Stupid granddaddy longlegs spiders were trying to crawl over my foot and I kicked at them, trying to keep them off of me, because even though I knew they were harmless, they were just gross and I hated way their legs tickled as they went over me. I heard more crashing, (whatever was coming had no woods sense at all), and I stilled myself and waited, watching up the trail. Before too long I saw him, and I almost laughed at loud with the glee at how much fun I knew I was gonna have with this one because it was pretty obvious he was a city slicker and had no idea the things in the woods that could mess with him.

He was a pretty boy. He was wearing a pair of fancy khaki shorts and a button up shirt. He had on sandals with socks and I almost fell outta my tree laughing at that and the craziness of wearing socks where sticker burrs ruled, much less socks with sandals. He had curly hair that was a little darker and mine and he was pale, as in the kinda pale that didn't see the sun very often. I didn't see any bandaids on his knees or scars or scrapes on him so I figured he was soft. Probably a Dallas prep school sissy boy. He wandered along with a stick in his hand, whacking at the buckeyes and knocking them off the bushes, and I could hear him muttering to himself as he approached. 'Stupid hick town out in the middle of no where! Nothing to do, nobody around! I hate it here! I want to go home!" Yup, I had called it, he was a spoiled assed city boy. I drew a buckeye outta my bag and decided on a plan of attack. If I hit him dead on, he was likely to spot me too soon and end the game, so I decided to go with the armadillo hunting technique. I was gonna attract his attention and then sneak attack from behind. He wasn't very big, so I figured I could take him and pin him easy, maybe scuff him up a little and get them clothes some hick town dirt on them.

I threw the first buckeye right in front of him, and he jumped backwards in shock from the sudden movement. When he realized it was just a buckeye, he kicked at it with his sandal and looked around to see if it had fallen out of a tree or something. I ducked behind the trunk of the tree I was standing on, waiting a few before I peeked around, to see what he was doing. He bent down to pick up the eye and I threw the next one, striking him right on top of his curly head. He jumped up like he had been shot and looked around like he was expecting a booger bear to jump out and eat him. I was trying hard to not fall out of the tree laughing as he looked all around him, so I threw another one right behind him to see if I could force him on under me so I could pounce. It worked and he started quickly walking along the trail until he was just about under my tree, and then I whipped another eye at him, striking him right in his pretty pink ear. He howled and grabbed his ear as I dropped out of the tree behind him, tackling him and taking him down to the ground, growling at him, "What are you doing in my woods city boy?" He shrieked like a girl and promptly passed out.

Oh no! I didn't mean to break him. I was just gonna scuff him up a bit, maybe make him eat some dirt, and then see if he wanted to go fishing. Boys aren't supposed to pass out! Holy Crap! I tried stuff I had seen on tv, I slapped his face, yelled, 'Hey" at him a few times, lifted his hand up over his face…nothing. He was out, and eww…he had peed his pants too. I felt horrible. I should have known he was gonna be more delicate, after all it was obvious he was a city kid and probably a rich, city kid so his folks were probably gonna have me killed or something for hurting him. I remembered I had some water in my canteen, so I thought maybe that would kill two birds with one stone! First is would wake him up, and second, if I got him all wet, he wouldn't know he peed himself! So I opened my canteen and started dumping it on him, starting with his shorts and working my way up. Sure nuf, it worked and he was coming round. He sputtered and coughed and started crying as he sat up and I squatted down in front of him, "Hey! Don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you so bad, I was just messing with you. My names Bella, what's yours?" He wiped the water out of his eyes and took in his now muddied and defiantly scuffed up appearance, " Im Jasper, but why don't you have a shirt on?"

"Why didn't I have a shirt on?" Wasn't the better question why he did? It was hotter than hell at high noon outside, and it was Summer. Nobody was around, cept me, and maybe the stupid baby neighbor kids, but most likely they were in England again for their holiday or whatever they called it, and besides, they didn't play with me anyhow, so I was alone, and it was just cooler to go with out a shirt. I probably woulda gone without shorts too, but I didn't want to get worms. I wasn't wearing shoes either, but I hated wearing shoes, unless they were my boots, and since they were banned from the house for smelling so bad, I had grown to mistrust them after putting them on one morning and encountering a spider. It was just easier to wear nothing but a pair of old cutoffs. I had pockets for my pocket knife and gum, and my kit bag and canteen for everything else, I didn't need a shirt, but he looked at me so funny I kinda felt odd, like maybe I should be wearing a shirt.

'Where are you from Jasper? He was still looking at me funny and I was about to shove him back if he kept on, but he wiped the snot away from under his nose, smearing mud on his face as he did so, and he grumbled, "Houston, we just moved here a couple of days ago." Whoa! A new neighbor! Cool! " So how old are you,(I had to make sure he wasn't gonna get snaked by Rose), and if he was old enough to attract her interest, then she sure would try just to be mean. "I'm 12, how about you?" No way! He was my age too? Granted he's a bit on the soft side, and needed some toughening up, but I knew that I had just found the Butch to my Sundance.


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