Finally heard from my crazy-assed sister last night, and let me tell you, she has won the contest when it comes to being the most masochistic or crazy. She got a boob job last week, but let me clarify things, it wasn't just a typical ,'Oh my GOD I have had a small herd of children and my boobs are sweeping the ground in front to me" type of boob job, Noo, it was an,"Oh my God I have had two tumors removed, I have had 2 other scares and I have a nuclear implant to monitor cell growth" kinda boob job. SO I can kinda understand. She had all her own breast tissue removed and she had fake boobage put in, but instead of having regular sized boobage stuff put in, she had DOUBLE D'S put in!! OH.MY. DOLLY PARTON! She also had liposuction done and they sucked all the extra fat away from around her gut and butt, and took her down to a size 2! That is soo cheating!She called to tell me all the horror stories that go along with her new boobs, such as the fact that each morning, the muscle contractions of her body cause the fake boob bags to creep up to under her collar bones and she has to manually reach up and push her boobs into place and they POP! back into the slots that they are supposed to fit into! My sis is tough. We are both really stalwart when it comes to pain, in fact we dont register pain normally, but she said last night," You know the kinda pain where you just sit there and think, well, somebody just fucking come shoot me now, cuz that cant hurt any worse than this crap? yeah...thats what this is like. I wouldn't do it again." I died laughing as she told me about how her doctor had sent her flowers and she knew something was up, she said, "Nobody sends flowers unless they fucked up, are fixing to piss you off, hurt you, or you are dying and dont know it." She said her doctor had sent her a really pretty flower arrangement and she knew something was up and sure enough when she went in for her first appointment after her surgery, that doc had grabbed the edge of that big, foam tape bandage and had jerked it really fast and pulled it off, and before my sis could even squawk, she had reached up and shoved her boobs down and told her,"Thats what you are going to have to do every day." and sis said she hollered " Bitch is that why you sent me flowers?" she said the doc just laughed and patted her hand.
My sis tells me she is planning on getting a surgical procedure every year on her birthday! I think she is freaking nuts. I only get surgery to fix crap that is broke, like knees and shoulders and wrists and things that I messed up, she is trying to fight the inevitable slide into middle age.
It was great to talk to her, she sounded good in spite of being in pain and dealing with trying to decide if they are going to stay in Texas or move to Bozeman. She changes houses and vehicles more often than some people change their shoes, but it makes her happy and she handles it well. I think getting her out of Texas all those years ago was the best thing I could have done for her. It was rough and we struggled for a while, but it saved us both.I wish she was closer sometimes so we could hang out more, but we have gone such separate directions in our lives. She found her happiness after years of struggling and suffering, and I am glad. She looked after my son when he was back there and gave him some good advice, and was often the positive role model he needed when he had no one else to talk to .
I told her about my writing, and she seemed genuinely glad to hear I was actually writing again. So many folks who know me are shocked that I am writing fiction again, I guess they thought I really was done for good, and honestly so did I, but I have gotten into it and I have been driven lately and hopefully it sticks around for a bit because its been good for me and I have really enjoyed it, even if it is a bit on the odd side.
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