The banners you see are for a couple of stories I wrote.The bottom one was one chapter and it was the first and it was cathartic. That is what it is...catharsis. Writing this kinda stuff was suggested by a therapist as a way to deal with some of the pain. It seems to be helping and I have been writing my ass of lately and building a following. Not all of my writing is sad, some of it is actually funny. A friend from Twitter made me the banner and she is making me another one for my other story and hopefully for my funny one as well. I am kinda proud of what I have written, even if its a little strange for a middle-aged woman to be writing such things.
I feel kinda odd at times to be indulging the the 'fan fiction" medium and I really feel kinda odd about outing myself, but considering that I have been able to talk about and write about things that have eaten me alive from the inside for decades, well, maybe I shouldn't feel so damn weird about it.I did actually out myself to my boss about being a writer of it the other day, but only after she outed herself as a member of SCA. We stood in the stock room, both feeling weird and laughing at our social deformities, and realizing that we had something in common in our geekyness. I feel like I am healing some. I am still pretty much of a isolationist, and its hard for me to want to get out, but that has to do with being broke most of the time. I dont fly into rages or depressions as much as I used to, and I am able to socialize pretty easily as long as I dont feel crowded or pressured into situations that take me too far out of my element.
I had a nice talk with my oldest daughter last night. She turned 19 yesterday and I am so damned proud of her. She is the most practical of all of us, careful with money and she has a plan for her future and so far that doesnt include getting involved with any boys or anything else. She wants to get her education and then get her career started so she will be self reliant.She has seen me struggle and train wreck my life has been, and she wants to avoid that. She is artistic and super smart, so hopefully she will do well in whatever she decides to do.
Son had an interesting night last night. He has quite the dukes mixture of friends and its amusing to hear him talking to them because he changes his demeanor with each one. He has one friend who is a foster kid that is struggling with the system because they keep trying to return him to his abusive father and my son and him are really tight because son knows that stress all too well and I encourage my son to be there as a friend and sounding board, another friend is a lesbian girl that teases him mercilessly like a big sister would, and she is funny and he really likes her quite a bit and I think that could be a friendship that lasts a long time because their rapport is hysterical, in fact they could be a comedy team. The friend he was talking to late last night is a young gay guy that is the same age as my son and who is in a few classes with him. He recently came out and he was already friends with my son and as I expected, nothing changed in my sons mind. They were talking last night about the different cultures in the gay and straight world and my son was getting quite an education about what "flamboyant" meant and just what kind of signals he was sending off with some of his attire. He came out of his room one with the phone to his ear and he hugged me held the phone to his chest, and said,"You were right!" and went back to his room. I am guessing some of the clothing and attire tips I gave him were correct. Huh, who would have thunk it?
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