Dear Roger;Pulling Miracles Out Of My Ass? Just Another Day For Me

Well, We made it through Christmas. How sad to think of it that way, but when you look at the holiday with dread because you know its going to be full of stress due to hopes and dreams that you aren't going to be able to meet as a parent, well...it kinda becomes that. The ex was lucky back in AZ, word got around to the Baptist church that his folks used to belong to that he had been off work for awhile and had been struggling, and even though he hadn't darkened their door in over 20 years, the church brought them a gift card to a local grocery store and gifts for the kids, and then they got the local fire department involved and they adopted them they brought the kids a whole bunch of presents for Christmas and more gift cards! THATS what churches are supposed to do. I remember that church that adopted them too, its not the fanciest church in Flag either, its a rather small, nondescript looking building that often has a parking lot filled with lower end cars. Guess it goes to show that the spirit lives in less ornate digs .

The kids church up here did nothing other than the performance that the little kids put on. No potluck, no get together, no nothing. I got invited to go to a performance of a play at a local Baptist church and a get together and I wanted to go,but couldn't get things to work out. I was explaining to my son how a church treats its lesser and poorer members says a whole lot about the church as a whole, and I could see that it was making an impact with my son. I am a big believer that with churches, bigger is not better.

I made some tough executive decisions and I robbed Peter to pay Paul, so I managed to scrape together enough money to buy a few things for my kids and friends. It wasn't a whole hell of a lot, but it made me feel better. My kids seems really happy and even though we ended up not having a fancy Christmas dinner, or dinner at all, the kids had a great day thanks to our friends.Some new friends brought over some Christmas candy and me a present and for the first time since I have been up here I have some candles for my house! I found my rampaging beasts off the chocolate and actually got to enjoy some of it and I am thrilled I actually have another real life friend.

We went over to our other friends house for brunch and they had a bunch of presents for us including a MICROWAVE! Finally after all this time we have a microwave! It was great. They really went all out for my kids and it was soo appreciated. I came home afterwards to relax while the friends took the kids up to Mt Hood to go sledding. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and the time to read and work on my writing. It was a stressful few days leading up to Christmas and I am glad to see it over and done with for the most part.

Daughter is still waiting for her dvd of the 100 Monkeys tour, but the letter that I wrote to her (from Santa) explaining that the dvd was late because it got held up by a pack of monkeys, really impressed her. She loves the new stuffed monkey and she has been carrying around the card almost constantly. I got her a small music set, so now she is armed with a harmonica, tambourine, drum/bongo, maracas and the ability to drive me insane. She has been practicing almost constantly on the harmonica and I had to search her before she left for church this morning to make sure she wasn't smuggling it out with her.

I got son a bunch of guitar stuff so he was happy. He has a capo now and some new strings so he can quit blaming the off sounds coming out of the guitar on "Bad" strings. He was in a pretty good mood for the entire holiday, and we had some nice talks, in the little time he has been around, so maybe if he actually is around over the next few days we will get to talk some more.I got aggravated with him a little bit because he took off on Christmas eve with GF's family. They way I grew up and was raised, that was not done. That time was for family and I would have liked to have enjoyed some time with my son, maybe cooking some dinner and talking nicely, but no, instead we ended up fighting and stressed out because he was waiting for them and then leaving to go God knows where, but away from his family. Sis and I ended up just hanging out together and having a plain dinner. It was kind of a bummer too, feeling like I had to rush through the little bit of Christmas shopping I got to do, he was sitting at home waiting on me and getting aggravated, and it just put a damper on the whole damn day an make me resentful and angry. I mean, who the hell messes with other peoples families on Christmas Eve uninvited? Makes me miss the South and Southern manners even more. He is planning on going to some thing with that church that he belongs to and that is turning into a bit of a deal as well. It started off it was $20 for whatever they are doing,(EVERYTHING with that church costs) and then it went to $25, well last night, he tells me, its now $32! What the hell? I know adults that are going out on New Years that aren't spending that damn much. Hes not going to be drinking, last time he went to one of their things and took sodas, he didn't even get any, so what the hell? That will clean us out for cash, because of course it has to be paid in advance. I really wish he would find a nice Methodist church to belong to, it wouldn't cost as much and I think the folks would have more in common with us.

So now we are approaching the New Year. I told son that we are going to sit down and come up with some resolutions that will make some differences for all of us, and I think one we really need is that more respect needs to be paid to the fact that we are a family and he needs to remember that, I try to remember that he is a young man trying to have a life, but he also needs to remember that his life is with us first and foremost. Hopefully when he is in Texas this summer with kin, he will remember the importance of that.