Dear Roger: "Queen of Negotiations?" I know you would say more like,"Bullshit Artist"

Its been a bit of a heady morning. Its pouring freaking rain, the kids are driving each other crazy and to top it off, the internet and cable and all that connects us to the world got cut off. They tend to do that when you dont pay the damn bill. But, you know when you live on less money in a month than most normal people make in a week, sometimes you have to make tough choices, but what really sucked is I was like 3 days away from having the money in the account to cover the damn bill! Arrgh! Soo when daughter started freaking out and rolling around on the floor chewing on her foot because we are trapped in here due to the buckets of rain that are falling out of the sky, and we have no car and no where to go and no money, and she doesn't even have a coloring book right now, I decided to take a chance and see if they would negotiate with me. Of course I got a woman of color, and so I just laid it out to her, told her the entire situation and I could hear the ,"Bitch you KNOW you can afford this shit" in her voice, but I kept sweet talking and negotiating with her and she finally said,"Alright! let me see what I can do!" 2 minutes later it came on. Dont know for how long, but hopefully until its a little closer to the time when I can actually pay the damn bill. Damn I am tired of being this fucking broke. I worked, volunteered, served and destroyed my body in public service and I have an education and degree and all kinds of abilities, but I just cant seem to find anything. I have always been able to talk myself out of a situation. I think that is how I kept the ex from just slitting my throat that day. I was doing some fast talking and I dont even remember what all I said, but it must have been the right things, because instead of following thorough and pushing the blade harder, he eased it off. I have been able to talk way bigger people than me into handcuffs when I was a cop, and all kinds of people into all kinds of things when I was a medic, so it has served me well, though sometimes it fails or I encounter someone who is immune to my bullshit artistry. I should have followed through and become a lawyer, I would probably at least be able to pay some bills on time by now.

We got sis's 100 Monkeys dvd yesterday and it was the sunshine in our rainy day once again. We sat huddled on the couch around my sons computer because its the only thing we have that will play a dvd, and we watched enraptured. I was stunned when it opened. I could not have asked for a more perfect beginning for my baby girls Christmas present than for that dvd to open with the concert at the Voodoo donuts, complete with her smiling face in the crowd and the first song being her favorite song,"Shy Water". She squealed and went hopping around the room freaking out and I burst into tears,(yeah, I went totally freaking girly) I swear to God I wish I could have hugged the necks of everyone of those boys right then because that was just soo damn perfect. Son was even choked up as he said,"Thats soo cool". I still get choked up telling folks about it. Daughter was ecstatic about the video and we sat and watched it and laughed so damn hard at some of the silliness. It was a perfect end to our holiday and will be treasured for many years to come. It was another perfect day of sunshine for us courtesy of a bunch of ragtag monkeys.